


Choices

by BadAtPennames



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A Choice with No Regrets, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Remix, SnK world, universe altered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-06-08 08:00:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6846148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadAtPennames/pseuds/BadAtPennames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is already a member of the Survey Corps when Levi and his gang are captured and forced to join the military's most dangerous branch.</p><p> </p><p>A retelling of the 'A Choice With No Regrets' story line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *THIS ENTIRE FIC CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR 'A CHOICE WITH NO REGRETS'.*
> 
> This is very much a retelling of the 'A Choice With No Regrets' manga in that I even used some of the dialogue directly, the difference being that Eren (who is not a titan shifter, at least not that we know of) and members of the 104th are all older and already members of the Corps. 
> 
> The italics at the beginning are taken almost word-for-word from the translated manga and serve mostly to give background information for what's going on behind the scenes.

_'The center of the anti-expedition faction is Nicholas Lovoff after all...' the commander muttered, arms crossed as he leaned into the carriage seat._

_'According to the information I obtained, Lovoff has connections with the Lang Company, which delivers supplies to the Military Police.  It seems his intention is to turn over the freed up funding from our suspended expeditions to them,' Erwin revealed._

_..._

_'Would you allow me to take responsibility?  I have an idea.'_

_'An idea?  Even if you had a connection with a member of the parliament, I don't think they would be easily swayed by whatever you've got up your sleeve... Wait, you don't mean... Lovoff himself?'_

_'Commander.  I believe it would be for the best if you don't hear any more about this.  I will take care of everything using my own judgement.'_

-

_'I am a messenger sent by a certain man.  Let me get straight to the point.  It seems a man named Erwin Smith of the Survey Corps intends to capture you and make you join the Survey Corps... Once you're admitted I want you to steal certain documents from him and if possible, I'd prefer if you could "take care" of him.  The reward is money and a place to live in the capital,' the stranger told the trio of outlaws._

-

 

Eren let out a huff of irritation as the man they were chasing swung around the corner of a building as fast as any veteran of the Survey Corps.  He didn't know much about the trio they were after, only that Shadis had given Erwin the go ahead to conscript civilians that had illegally obtained 3D maneuver gear.  As soon as the pursuit started Eren understood why Erwin was so hung up on them.

 

They were skilled and they were coordinated. 

 

They were also really infuriating.

 

Eren watched wide-eyed as the man released the hooks on his gear, wires retracting like whips, only to perfectly dive into an open window of a building.  He must have immediately gone into a roll because the next moment he was on his feet again and Eren saw him run deeper into what he assumed was a stranger's house. 

 

He grit his teeth and eyed the window, lining himself up so he wouldn't end up smacking his face against the wall.  If he missed, he wouldn't live it down for weeks.  He tapped at the trigger on his right lightly, pulling him just a little bit over before he also released his hooks and wrapped himself up into a ball, crashing through the open window, hitting the floor with a solid thunk, and rolling into a table. 

 

He grunted with the impact and grunted again when something that had been resting on the table previous to his spectacular entrance landed heavily on his back.

 

He quickly scrambled to his feet trying to catch the breath that had been knocked out of him to see that the man he was pursuing was nearly to another window at the opposite end of the room.

 

Eren narrowed his eyes, aimed his hooks at either side of the window and shot.  He was satisfied to see the man startle slightly, but he failed to so much as glance back towards Eren.

 

Eren grinned, leaned back a little to brace himself and clicked on the triggers again.  In an instant, he was hurtling towards the shorter man, the heels of his boots skidding across the floor.  The next moment he impacted, the breath blown out of his lungs for the second time in as many minutes.  He retracted the wires and grabbed the man about his middle as their legs crashed into the wall and they tumbled over and out of the window.

 

He heard cursing and felt the man's arms quickly go to his sides to operate his own stolen gear, launching them up before they could fall the three stories to the ground.

 

Eren gripped as tight as he could, swinging his legs up to wrap around the man's own.

 

“Get off of me, you lunatic!” the growled words were delivered with a harsh elbow to his ribs.  Eren was sure if the angle had been less awkward, he would have been knocked loose with that blow.

 

The man may not have been big, but he was strong.

 

He was also extremely skilled and quickly adapted to the imbalance of Eren's weight on his back.  He could feel the man bank to the right sharply to try to dislodge him.  Eren strained to see where they were heading, but the man's dark hair was whipping back into his eyes and he had to squeeze them shut.

 

He felt them dive down, swing up, flip and dive again before he heard the click of the man's tongue against his teeth.  That was all the warning he got before he felt them being pulled forward again and the man quickly snapping his hips to rotate them in midair before they crashed into the ground, Eren-first.

 

This time he did let go, his body sliding and rolling away, lungs screaming for air, world spinning.  He wound up on his back, staring up into the dark ceiling of the cavern the underground city nestled beneath.  The only thing that had saved the skin of his hide was the now tattered cloak beneath him.  He didn't think he could get up right away.

 

Shuffling to his left alerted Eren and he let his head drop in that direction to see the man he had been pursuing climb to his feet, pants torn at the thigh with little red scratches beading up with blood.

 

He looked at Eren and he might have been about to say something, but the next moment, Mike barreled into him, knocking him off his feet and stealing Eren's thunder.

 

Erwin was right behind, feet tapping the ground as he landed.  The man kicked back at Mike, his other hand pulling out a knife, but Erwin was there to catch his wrist before any damage could be done.  Instead the man redirected his attack, leg sweeping out to hook at Erwin's.  All six feet of the blond squad leader crashed to the ground.  The short man launched himself on top of Erwin, but Mike snatched the back of his shirt, yanking him down.

 

Eren stared, engrossed as he watched the smaller man grapple with two experienced squad leaders and nearly get away before he was pinned down by Mike's knee to his back.

 

If Eren hadn't been impressed before, he was now.

 

It was then that Mikasa landed with the other man they had been after and Jean followed with the pig-tailed girl thrown over one shoulder.

 

Mikasa's eyes flicked over to him in concern, but he gave a quick wave of his hand and decided to try sitting up.

 

Erwin, meanwhile, was beginning his interrogation.  When they weren't receptive to answering his questions, he quickly changed tactics.  Erwin flicked his eyes towards Mike who grabbed the man Eren had been chasing by the hair and roughly slammed his face into the filthy sewer water puddled on the ground in front of them.

 

Eren winced when the man's head impacted, apparently Mike was feeling a little sore that a man half his size had been getting the better of him.

 

“Where did you learn how to use the 3DM gear?”

 

Suddenly the girl was shouting angrily, “No one taught us!”

 

“We learned to survive down here,” the other man spoke up, biting the words out.  Erwin looked at them for a moment, face giving nothing away before he turned his attention back to ring leader.  Mike yanked the dark haired man's head back so he could breathe.

 

“My name is Erwin Smith.  Your name is?”

 

Unsurprisingly, the man didn't answer.

 

“You've got spirit, but… if you continue like this, your friends will be the ones to pay the price.”

 

On cue, Mikasa and Jean set their blades at the necks of their captives.  The girl shouted at them, goading them into just getting it over with.

 

The man glared at Erwin with promised death in his eyes, growling a cuss out.

 

“Your name?”

 

“It's Levi,” he ground out, bitter.

 

“Levi,” Erwin said, stepping forward before kneeling down in the slimy puddle, “Why don't we make a deal?”

 

“A deal?” Levi asked, warily.

 

“None of you will be charged with anything.  In exchange, lend us you power.  Enlist in the Survey Corps.”

 

The man looked shocked.  Eren couldn't blame him.  It wasn't exactly standard procedure to go to the underground to conscript soldiers.

 

“And if I refuse?”

 

“We'll hand you over to the military police.  Think of all the crimes you've committed up until now.  Your friends would also prefer to avoid that, correct?  The choice is yours.”

 

Levi cut his eyes sharply over to the other two, catching the gaze of his male companion.  Eren had the sense there was an unspoken communication between the two before Levi fired his eyes back to Erwin.

 

“All right.  We'll join your damn Survey Corps.”

 

Eren let out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding.  At Erwin's instruction, they quickly stripped the trio of their gear and the few small weapons they were carrying.  Eren found himself carrying everything at the rear while Erwin led the group and the rest escorted their new recruits. 

 

When they reached the surface, two carriages were already waiting for them.  Erwin and Mike hopped into the first and Eren deposited the reclaimed gear in the storage box at the back of it while Mikasa and Jean ensured the trio was loaded into the second carriage. 

 

“Jaeger, you're with us,” Mike said when Eren finished stuffing the straps into the box.

 

With a nod, he climbed in and a moment later Jean followed.  Mikasa remained in the carriage behind them to keep an eye on the trio, although Eren had the suspicion that the three had no intentions of escaping.  He glanced at Erwin, guessing the man must confidently feel they wouldn't either, but Eren couldn't begin to guess why.

 

The carriage hadn't moved very long before it stopped again and Erwin got out.

 

“I have a few errands to see to.  I'll see you back at Headquarters.”

 

Besides Eren, Jean snorted.  That was more of an explanation that Erwin usually gave to people for anything he was doing, he must've been in a good mood.

 

Once the carriage started moving again Eren turned to Mike.

 

“Do you have any idea what he's planning?”

 

“Sometimes I think it's better not to ask, Mike answered.

 

Eren couldn't argue with that.

 

-

 

The next morning, Eren tried to get out of bed only to find his muscles stiff and battered.  He would have stayed there if Mikasa didn’t brazenly barge into his small, but private quarters a few minutes later.

 

He could forgive her because she brought a steaming mug of willow bark tea.  It tasted awful, but it worked for pain relief and muscle soreness.

 

“Shadis wants to see you,” she said as he took a sip too quickly and scorched his tongue.  That would annoy him the rest of the day, especially while he was eating.

 

“What about?”

 

“He didn’t say, but there’s a meeting in half an hour so you better hurry if you want to get breakfast.”

 

Eren let out a huff of air, pushing himself out of bed and stumbling over to the wash basin and ewer on his small bureau.  He grabbed the neatly folded washcloth next to it and the sliver of soap resting in a dish before glancing behind him.

 

“Do you mind?”

 

“I’ll be waiting outside,” she said, but Eren felt it sounded like a warning.  He rolled his eyes after turning his back on her.  When he heard his door shut behind him he quickly washed up as best he could with his time limit and threw on a clean, new uniform, since the one from yesterday was covered in filth and spotted with blood.

 

Less than ten minutes later he was out his door, trying to drink his tea while he walked next to Mikasa and mostly failing.  They detoured to the mess hall and he was able to grab a bowl of oatmeal and an apple that he balanced in the crook of his arm before they headed over to the meeting.

 

He was proud that he was not the last one in the room, but that was only because he elbowed Jean out of the way and narrowly avoided spilling his tea and his breakfast on the floor in the process.  When he sat down, Jean walked past and slapped the back of his head while he tried to take a bite of his oatmeal.

When he started to choke Mikasa hit his bruised back so hard that his vision went spotty from the pain.

 

The meeting started with Shadis and Erwin discussing some plans for the upcoming expedition, which Eren listened to with half an ear.  They’d brief more in-depth as they got closer to the date of departure.  He wasn’t entirely sure why he was even present until the topic switched.

 

“About the new recruits we acquired yesterday,” Shadis began but was quickly interrupted by another one of the squad leaders.

 

“It’s disgraceful!” Flagon spat.

 

Eren glanced around the table.  It was clear from their expressions that a few of the other squad leaders felt the same and this was going to devolve into an argument if it wasn’t checked.  He didn’t care to get involved.  It’s not as though he’d really have much to do with the recruits that they ‘ _acquired’_ as Shadis so eloquently put it.

 

He did his best to tune out the disgruntlement around him as he focused on his oatmeal.  He still failed to see why he was even here.

 

Unsurprisingly, Erwin managed to quell the discontent, and when the meeting let out, Eren supposed it had been for the purpose of making sure all the squad leaders put on a public face of supporting the recent enlistment regardless of their personal feelings. 

 

There was something to be said for keeping your opinions in check in front of the troops, since they had a tendency to emulate their squad leaders. 

 

Eren stopped at the mess hall to drop off his empty bowl and cup.  He would have gone to the armory to grab some blades for training with his 3DM gear if Mikasa hadn’t stopped him.

 

“We have a formation in the courtyard.  You weren’t paying attention, were you?”

 

“Not a bit,” Eren admitted.  He was generally more disciplined but he was woken up early and he was incredibly sore.  While he was getting dressed, he had glimpsed the rather thorough bruising of his upper body in the mirror hanging above his bureau.  His jaw was a little tender too, he had noticed, but he wasn’t sure when he had hurt that.

 

The courtyard was filled with soldiers milling around when they arrived.  They had barely reached the crowd when the order to fall in was called out.  They stepped into the empty space as the soldiers neatly organized themselves into rows and columns.

 

Once they were sorted, they were put into parade rest and they waited. 

 

“What’s this about?” Eren asked Mikasa lowly out of the corner of his mouth, keeping his eyes firmly forward.

 

“My guess is…” she cut herself off as four people walked across the stage at the head of the yard.  Eren found his question answered as he watched the three criminals they had apprehended decked out in brand new uniforms and coming to a stop center stage.

 

“Attention all troops!” Shadis called out from next to them.  “The three new recruits you see standing up here are our new comrades who will be fighting along with us, starting today.”

 

If the soldiers weren’t disciplined, Eren would bet money there would be a lot or murmuring in the crowd.  As it was, it was silent enough that Eren could clearly hear when Shadis instructed the three to introduce themselves, even though he had lowered his voice to a normal speaking volume.

 

It was the man that Eren had grappled with that spoke first.  His eyes cut towards someone in the front row before looking back at the rest of them, clearly not fond of his recent enlistment.

 

“The name’s Levi,” he said, the slightest sneer lifting a corner of his mouth.  Eren couldn’t blame him, really.  The next two, Isabel and Farlan, were much more enthusiastic about their introductions and Eren did his best to keep the amusement from his face at the comparison.

 

The soldiers around him did not appear to share his mirth.  If anything, when he subtly glanced around, they seemed a little disgusted.

 

Then Shadis spoke up again.

 

“They will be assigned to Jaeger’s squad. You will be in charge of them, all right, Eren?”

 

Suddenly Eren was no longer amused.  Shadis must have suddenly gained a sense of humor for the first time in his life.

 

“You’re putting them in my squad?” he asked, incredulous.

 

“Is there a problem?”

 

On reflection, the odds of Shadis gaining any semblance of humor were as likely as Mikasa deciding Eren was a fully grown man who could look after himself.

 

“No sir, I just assumed they would be put under squad leader Smith’s care.”

 

“Erwin has his hands full preparing for the upcoming expedition with the new formation.  He will be assisting me in the command of the entire unit.  Are we clear?”

 

“Yes sir,” Eren said, saluting.  

 

Well, this fucked up his plans for the day.

 

A quick glance towards the stage informed him that he had three other sets of eyes on him.  One curious, one assessing, and the last quite clearly unimpressed. 

 

It probably wasn’t just his plans that were fucked.  His day was probably going to be shit, too.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a little bit of dialogue taken directly from a translation, but it's only a few lines.

Eren opened the door to the barracks, scrunching up his nose as took in the unmade beds, blankets half off their bunks.  There were a few empty bottles of what had once held after-hours liquor on the floor, random scraps of trash here and there and at least part of a deck of cards scattered at his feet.

There was a slight odor, not strong, but enough to still warrant cracking a window open to air the place out.

“What a bunch of slobs…” he muttered.  He could admit that he may not have kept the cleanest, neatest quarters in the castle, but he at least liked to keep things off the floor and when he started to notice a funk in the air, he stripped his bed and took all his dirty laundry out to wash it.  Being the son of a doctor had impressed upon him the importance of basic hygiene.  It was the easiest way to avoid illness and infection.

“These are the barracks you’ll be staying in,” Eren said, crossing the threshold and allowing his three new recruits to follow him in. 

“Friggin’ sweet!  This means we get to share a room with everybody?” Isabel grinned excitedly.

“No, ah, women are in a separate building,” he said, glancing back at her with a raised eyebrow. 

“What?!  I want to be in here, too!”

Eren couldn’t imagine why.  He certainly wouldn’t want to stay in here.

“Don’t be stupid, Isabel,” the taller man said.

“What the hell, Farlan!  You ass!”

Ignoring the bickering that was starting behind him, Eren walked to a set of bunk beds at the back of the building that had waiting blankets folded up on the foot of each mattress. 

“Here we are, these are your bunks,” he didn’t bother keeping the grimace off his face as he eyed the nearest blanket.  He wasn’t sure if it was stained or dirty, the mattress too, for that matter. 

Levi did not appear pleased as he stared down at bed.

Eren couldn’t blame him.

“I was going to tell you that I expect you to keep it tidy in here, but apparently no one else does.”

There was a semi-amused snort next to him. 

“I guess there’s no time like the present to show you all to the laundry,” Eren said, scooping up the suspect bedding and spinning on his heel.  The footsteps following behind him failed to muffle Farlan’s murmur, “Looks like you got lucky.”

Eren wasn’t sure what that meant or which of the two the taller man had been talking to.

-

The laundry was a stone-walled door-less room near the rear of the castle on the ground floor.  Cloth bags filled with soiled garments and tied with drawstrings were piled against one wall with the names of their owners stitched into them.  Another wall had a mountain of sheets leaning against it, which was where Eren threw the bundle he was carrying.

A third wall was lined with shelves stacked high with clean linens, blankets and towels.  

“Laundry is done every two days, the squads rotate the duties.  Personally, if I know it’s Hange’s squad’s turn, I hold onto my laundry a little longer,” Eren said, then muttering to himself, “they’re probably the ones that tried to wash those blankets.”

Eren walked over to a large wooden cabinet near the entrance, pulling open one of its doors.

“If you find you run out of clean stuff and can’t wait, there’s some soap in here and there’s a stream that runs just down the hill if you go out the door at the end of the hall.”

He turned back towards his new recruits, seeing that Isabel and Farlan were paying attention to him, but Levi was focused entirely on the contents of the cabinet, an odd glint in his eyes as they raked over the soaps and softeners.

“There’s also a supplies closet,” he said, walking out the room and directly across the hall to open a rough-hewn wooden door, “if you’re tasked with cleaning up or something, there’s brooms and stuff in here.  It’s kept unlocked, so whenever you need any cleaning supplies, just come and grab them.”

Eren was surprised when he was suddenly elbowed aside by Levi.  He was about to growl out a complaint when he caught sight of the shorter man’s face.  Levi’s eyes were wide and something close to sparkling as he took in the rows of stacked brooms and mops, cleaning rags, sponges, dusters, brushes and cleansers.  His mouth was slightly parted in surprise and while Eren found the reaction odd at best, he also couldn’t help but find the expression _cute_.

Then he promptly remembered that he had his legs wrapped around Levi’s waist just the other day when they captured him and had to spin around to hide his rising blush.

“Grab whatever you need to get your bunks set up and meet me in the courtyard for training in thirty minutes,” he said before walking away.  He knew enough about Levi from Erwin’s brief meeting before they caught them, that there was nothing about Levi that was cute.  He was a known thief and a suspected murderer, and he had the inkiest, shiniest hair next to Mikasa that he had ever seen.

-

Eren was pleasantly surprised and confused by the trio when he figured the best place to start would be to assess the skills they already had.  Isabel had an affinity for animals, taking to the horses like she had been around them all her life.  Her riding skills would easily be up to par by the time they went out on the expedition with very little practice.

Farlan reminded him of a cynical Armin with a chip on his shoulder.  When he mentioned as much to his friend, he got an irritated look. 

Armin had graciously given in to Eren’s insistence that his presence was necessary to help train the recruits to standard.

They were watching as the three pulled on their 3DM gear, adjusting to the unfamiliar fit of the standard issue gear.  It was a newer model than what they had been caught with and specially designed for the scouting legion, whereas their pilfered gear had been specific to the Military Police.  The differences weren’t many, just enough to feel weird.

Levi had grabbed his blades in reverse.  They weren’t designed to be held that way, but the short man looked wholly at ease with his grip.

Eren frowned as he walked over.

Sharp eyes cut over to him as he approached, ready.

“I’ve never seen anyone hold their blades like that,” Eren admitted.

“Looks to me like the point is just to slice off the nape of the titan’s neck.  So let me do it the way I want to,” Levi said, challenge evident in his tone.  It was the tone that made Eren’s hackles want to rise.

He could feel an answering response rise up in him and if he was as hot-headed as he had been when he was a teenager, he would have been spitting out a retort.  Some hard earned maturity that Mikasa still doubted he had kept him in check and after a second to let his instincts to fight subside, curiosity bled in.  The man before him had a fierce reputation in the underground, his abilities were speculated to rival Mikasa’s, and if Eren hadn’t caught him off-guard with sheer suicidal idiocy, he probably would have gotten away.

“Okay.  I want to see if you’re as good as I’ve heard,” he replied, with something of his own challenge in his voice, smile devilish.

Levi took a moment to properly look at him, whether he was thinking about how Eren had flung his body into Levi in a mildly insane attempt at capture or assessing something else wasn’t clear.

“Hn,” he grunted, the smallest twitch of his mouth could have been amusement or it might not have been.

A second later and Levi had pulled the triggers, wires snapping through the air and then his feet were off the ground.  Eren didn’t hesitate to follow as if Levi had announced they were going to race and someone had just called, “Go!”

A breath later and he was zipping towards the first target, Levi slightly ahead to his left about twenty meters away.  They both descended on the padded neck, chunks sliced out and flying through the air as they passed, hardly slowing.  Levi’s cut had been clean and deep.  Eren’s was good enough to kill, but he could see that the cut wasn’t as sharp as Levi’s.

He sped towards the second target shooting ahead and could see Levi go faster in response in his periphery. 

He grinned, shooting up high towards the top of the trees before releasing his wires and plummeting back down, head first, blades out.  Below him, he could see Levi glance up in surprise, then smirking as he swung low to shoot his wires and ricochet up.

It took Eren a second to realize that Levi was right in his path in what was apparently an aerial game of chicken.  Eren never lost at chicken.

His grin got wider.

Levi’s smirk deepened.

He could see Levi zoom closer, not wavering with the nape of the titan target between them and Eren readied his blades.

He had barely gotten through the next breath when Levi sailed underneath him, just a brush of clothes at how close they came.  Levi’s blades were flashing as Eren flipped above in midair, twisting over and swinging his own swords.

As soon as the cloth was loosened to fly off into the forest, Eren shot his wires out, swinging back up towards the trees and glancing back to see Levi giving him a mildly impressed look.

Eren was certain his face showed a lot more amazement and enjoyment. 

“Onto the next?” he called out, that hint of goading in his voice.  Levi answered by firing his wires forward and taking off.

When they finally landed at the end of the course, Eren was breathless and grinning, looking over at Levi like he had just had the time of his life.  The only way that could be more true would be if they had been fighting actual titans.

“You’re good, I can’t wait to see you up against the real thing.  They won’t stand a chance!”

Levi raised an eyebrow at him before turning on his heel and walking over to where Farlan was sitting with another troop.

Eren watched him go.

-

Isabel swung her legs from the top bunk, safely out of Levi’s broom as he swept the floor around his bunk.  Farlan was leaning against the wall next to the window, thinking aloud.

“It could be months before we get our chance.  Erwin is a cautious man.”

Neither Isabel nor Levi seemed particularly bothered by the surmise.  Not that Farlan had expected them to be.  Isabel would spend all day with the horses if Eren let her.  He cut his gaze over to the man sweeping.

“It could be worse… we seem to have a decent enough squad leader,” Farlan said, letting the sentence hang for a moment while he watched Levi.

“That’s true,” Isabel mused, finger tapping her chin as her gaze rolled towards the ceiling in thought.  “He doesn’t treat us like we’re trash from the underground.”

“He’s as obsessed about killing titans as the rest of them,” Levi muttered.

Farlan’s eyes flashed.

“No, I’d say he’s a little more.  At least he can appreciate a little cleanliness.”

Levi looked up from where he had chased the dust into a small pile to pin Farlan with an irritated look.

“That’s true!  He even let you keep extra brooms under your bed,” Isabel chimed in.  The blond man could see the slight shift in his short friend’s expression, but then it was gone again.

“He’s not bad with the 3DM gear, but I’d bet he’d be decent with a wash rag, too,” he said, as if he were still musing.

“And he’s good-looking!”

Both men turned to give the girl surprised stares.

“What?” she said.  “It’s not like I want to marry him or anything.” Her face slowly grew pink with her words.

“Good looking?” Levi asked, like he was trying to wrap his mind around the concept.

“Well he is!  I saw you go all starry eyed when he said it was okay with him for you to keep your own stash of cleaning supplies in here,” she defended.

It was silent in the room.  That was not the direction Farlan had been trying to take the conversation.  He had only meant to tease Levi about having found a new ‘friend’.  Now, Levi was uncomfortably stiff even to Farlan’s eyes, the short man’s expression shocked. 

Isabel’s features were slowly morphing as what she said caught up with her brain.

“Or it could have just been the brooms,” Farlan said after a moment.

-

After the first few days of training had passed, Erwin called out to Eren in the hall as he was headed towards his room to take off his gear and then clean up before dinner.

“How has it been going?  Have they given you any trouble?”

Eren held a reasonable amount of esteem and trust in Erwin but he was also certain that Erwin had been waiting for him.  He had never cared much for the older man’s way of doing things, but he could readily admit they were effective.  Eren cared more for results, anyway.

“Not at all.  Isabel has a good attitude and Farlan is clearly the clever one.”

“And Levi?”

Eren thought, mind flashing back to what had become something of a game the past few days as he and the shorter man competed wordlessly to get the cut first and deeper than the other.

Levi was clearly more skilled than Eren, but was less hazardous in his maneuvers. 

There was an unspoken respect for the other’s abilities between the two of them.

“He’s as good as you told us he was.”

Erwin smiled pleasantly at him.

“Have they been integrating well?”

“There’s friction with some of the other troops, but you knew that would happen.”  Eren gave Erwin a non-impressed look.  The older man didn’t need to ask Eren for any of this information, he would have already deduced it.

“It’s to be expected, but I’m certain everyone will find them to be worthy additions.”

“Just what is it that you want me to be doing?” Eren was under no illusions as to who made the call to put the recruits into his care. 

“I just want you to make friends with them.”

“If you wanted someone who was good at making friends, don’t you think maybe I’d be at the bottom of that list?”

Eren was well-known among the corps for his abrasive personality and inability to compromise.  Or anywhere else for that matter.  He had been reprimanded for more than a few fights.  It was what had kept him from being made a squad leader earlier, but with the casualty toll the survey corps regularly suffered, anyone with an iota of skill and ambition would see themselves promoted sooner than later.

“I felt they might respond better to someone who was genuine,” Erwin said with a smile, and that was a very nice and diplomatic way of saying that Eren said exactly what he thought no matter whom he was talking to or how many enemies it would make him.

“I can’t believe Armin let you do this.”  Armin was in Erwin’s squad and functioned as his advisor and second-in-command. 

“He was the one who suggested it,” Erwin said leaving a surprised Eren to stare at him as he walked away.

-

Eren couldn’t help notice how Levi, Isabel, and Farlan kept to themselves away from the rest of the legion’s troops.  He couldn’t blame them, they had spent their lives in the underground and were forcefully drug up to the surface and conscripted.

On some level, he could understand their bitterness, but on another, he never could understand why anyone wouldn’t want to fight back against the titans with everything they had. 

“Why would anyone be content to just be penned cattle?” Eren asked, gazing across the mess hall towards the three that were currently on his mind.

“I think up until now their concerns might have been getting enough food and clean water,” Jean said drily from across the table.  Eren glanced at him, for once considering something the horseface had said. 

“I don’t think they were content,” Armin said, scooping up watery potatoes with his fork.

“What do you mean?” Eren asked.

“From what I’ve heard, they were trying to get to the surface.  If you think of the underground as another cage, then they were trying to escape that for the freedom aboveground.”

Even Jean’s interest was piqued, if by the way he leaned forward towards the blond was any indication.

“But this isn’t freedom, either, Armin.  We’re still in these walls,” Eren argued, pointing his fork at his friend.

“I never said it was, but to them, this is probably more freedom than they’ve ever experienced.  I’m sure they never even considered that they might still be caught in a cage.”

Eren leaned back in his chair, thoughtful. 

“But it’s the titans that keep us in these walls.  If it weren’t for them, we’d have more land and no one would have to be stuck in the underground.”

Armin chewed his food as he formulated his reply, swallowing before speaking, “From their point of view, it’s more likely to be the rich nobility keeping them underground rather than the titans, and they wouldn’t be wrong.”

“What makes you say that?” Jean asked.

“There’s technically enough land for everyone to live above ground, if it were properly managed.  The nobility could be said to own more than their fair share.  Besides, it’s convenient to have something like the underground when you have dirty work you need to have done and enough desperate people right beneath your feet to do it quietly.”

Armin could tell by the dark look on Eren’s face that it was a disturbing concept for his friend. 

“If we eradicated the titans, the nobility would lose a lot of power, wouldn’t they?”  Politics might not have been Eren’s interest or forte, but it wasn’t difficult for him to pick out that much.

“Of course, people would spread out beyond their reach.  There would always be the people that stayed behind in the cities, but a lot more would move out beyond the walls.  I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they kept the walls closed most of the time even we did eliminate all the titans.  They’d almost have to if they wanted to keep control of trade and taxes.” 

“So we kill all the titans and then we eliminate all the nobility,” Eren said.

“Eren, that’s treason.”  Then, after a moment, Armin added, “besides, it’d probably be more effective to take out the nobility first.”

“I never heard this conversation,” Jean muttered.

-

“How do you do that really fast spinning move?” Eren asked, as he watched Levi tug on his boots.  He had come to grab the recruits for morning details, cleaning chores having rotated onto them for the day.  Isabel had been waiting outside the door of her barracks, bright eyed and eager when he walked up, and quickly fell into step beside him as he went to get the other two.

She was, apparently, a morning person.

Levi looked up at Eren at the question, face revealing nothing, per usual.  After a moment he looked back down and finished pulling up the right boot. 

“Want me to show you?” It was said casually, but the way Farlan’s eyebrows shot up told Eren that it must have been a bigger deal than what Levi was showing.

“Absolutely, yes!” Eren replied excitedly, before remembering their tasks, “But it will have to wait until this afternoon.  We have cleaning duty this morning.”

Levi didn’t seem disappointed about that when he finally stood up. 

“Good,” he said, like he had been waiting for this.   

It was a gorgeous morning, clear sunny skies and a warm breeze in the air that Eren couldn’t feel because he was stuck inside.  Isabel and Farlan had started bickering so he had split them up to pair with the other members of the squad.  Thomas and Sasha were with Isabel, the latter of which Isabel had taken to quickly, and Hannah with Farlan. 

Eren felt a little sorry for Thomas, but not enough to take his place.

It left Eren himself with Levi. 

“These windows are disgusting,” Eren groused, dunking his rag in a bucket of soapy water as he eyed the thick film of grime.

Levi didn’t reply, but he could feel the agreement as if it was physically permeating the air.

Eren wrung out his cloth before swiping it across the glass, grimacing as he saw how much brighter the outside appeared through that streak.  A few feet away Levi was doing the same.  After a few minutes, Eren realized there was a problem. 

“We’re going to need a ladder,” he said, stepping back and glaring at the small windows set above the larger panes.

If he thought he could use the 3DM gear without damaging the walls, he would consider that, too.

“Where would we find one of those?” Levi asked.

“No idea.”

Ladders had a nasty habit of disappearing around the headquarters and turning up in the strangest places because everyone was terrible at putting stuff away.  They were like children without mothers.

“Kneel down.”

Eren looked over at Levi, eyes widened, “What are you going to climb up on my shoulders or something?”

“Yes.”

“Oh… yeah, I guess that could work.”

He quickly picked the bucket up and set it on the window sill so it would be within reach when he stood before dropping down to a crouch.  He listened to the sound of Levi’s boots as he walked over, felt the warm touch of the shorter man’s hand on his shoulder before a leg swung over the other.

There was a moment of adjusting and Eren felt a hand roughly grip under his jaw and the other reach over to the front of his shirt before the second leg came up to settle on him.  It took a minute for Levi to steady himself.  Eren wrapped an arm around of one of Levi’s shins and used his free hand to push down on his own knee as he rose up on the other.  When he shifted to get his left foot underneath him, he could feel his balance start to list to the side before he caught himself.  

“If you drop me, I’ll gut you.”

“I’ll try not to drop you, then,” Eren replied wryly.  He stepped closer to the window, reaching for the bucket and lifting it up to Levi. 

“If you drip water on me, I’ll drop you,” he said, teasingly.

“I’ll try not to drip on you, then,” Levi’s voice came from above him, and Eren was certain he didn’t imagine the amusement he heard.

Four windows later and Eren was starting to feel the strain.

“You know, you are not nearly as light as you look,” he said.  It was true, though.  Levi was short and lean and apparently tied bricks around his body and filled his boots with rocks every morning because Eren would bet money that Levi outweighed him.

“Suck it up.  We’re almost done.”

Eren grimaced, but kept his hands firmly on Levi’s knees to help balance him.  From what he could tell, the shorter man’s legs were comprised entirely of solid muscle.

“That’s easy for you to say.”

He carefully walked them over to the last window and admittedly, Levi seemed as though he tried to be a little quicker when he started washing it.

A few minutes later and Levi handed down the bucket for Eren to place on the window sill.  Then he attempted to kneel down onto the floor and Levi shifted above him. 

Except the shift was at exactly the wrong time as Eren was easing his balance from both legs to primarily one. 

They started to tip sideways and Eren felt a hand grab at his head as Levi started to slip.  He couldn’t say exactly what happened next, only that he pivoted towards Levi as the shorter man tipped away from him, grabbing at his torso and pulling in an attempt to catch him only to have them both fall.

They landed mostly on Eren but rolled until Levi was on his back, Eren’s hand cradling underneath his head and an arm under his waist.  The taller man looked down, checking to see if Levi was in any pain. 

“Are you okay?”

“No, because now we need to mop the floor.”

Eren was confused for a moment before he realized one of his pants legs was soaking wet.  They must have spilled the bucket of filthy water on their way down.  He grimaced.

He could assume Levi was relatively uninjured and he couldn’t feel anything other than the general ache that was already fading from their landing.  He glanced at Levi again only to be caught by steely gray irises.  He wasn’t sure, but something might have passed between them, then, maybe.  What he said next probably ruined it.

“Not to be weird or anything, but you have really pretty eyes.”

The look he received was incredulous.

“I said I wasn’t being weird.”

“Just because you say it doesn’t make it true.”

For a moment Eren was going to argue and then it hit him that he still had his arms wrapped more or less around Levi and was essentially lying on top of him.

“I should get up.”

“You should.”

In the end, Levi did not gut Eren. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I assumed that if Eren spent longer being raised by his parents, he would pick up a few things from his dad. Grisha had taken Eren with on the medical visit to Mikasa's, so it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume he did with others and maybe even instructed Eren a little in the trade. For the purposes of this story, Eren eventually grew up to have some appreciation for clean surroundings. Also, there was an interview with Isayama where he said that out of all the characters, Eren cleaned to the closest to Levi's standards (because ultimately he is a decent soldier who is eager to do a good job) and I wanted to run with that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was editing this to post yesterday and then I realized that this chapter wasn't properly setting up the next.
> 
> So I added four and a half pages.
> 
> Unfortunately, I did not have a very quiet or distraction free environment for the second round of editing... so. I'm not 100% satisfied with this chapter, but as a fic writer, that's par for the course.

Eren glanced back at the most recent additions of his squad grumbling to each other as they waited nervously before the gate.

The past couple of months had been a blur of training them up for the mission today and if Eren was honest, they needed very little of it.  Their integration to his squad wasn’t as hard as he had initially thought it was going to be.  Isabel had found a partner in crime with Sasha and Eren was more than certain they had on several occasions snuck into the kitchens and stolen food.

Farlan and Levi remained more distant, but with Armin frequently hanging around to engage Farlan in intelligent conversation it had helped.  Armin did this thing he called disarm and charm.  Farlan was neither disarmed nor charmed, but he seemed partial to Armin anyway. 

Which left Levi who had refused to really warm up to anyone.  With the possible exception of Eren himself.

Most days they raced through the training grounds on their 3DM gear, Levi spinning and dipping like a dancer and Eren rolling and diving like he had a death wish.  Levi never said too much, but they had learned the way each other moved and adapted their styles almost unthinkingly to accommodate.

He had grown rather fond of the short man’s presence even when his subordinate scolded him about the cleanliness of the headquarters, as if the state of the place was solely Eren’s fault or somehow his responsibility.

His gaze was snapped away from the man occupying his thoughts when Commander Shadis’ voice thundered out from the front of the formation. 

The gate was rising.

“All units!  Advance!”

The horses at the front began to gallop out with their riders and Eren turned to face the field beyond the wall as he readied his horse to depart.  The riders in front of him moved and Eren urged his own mount forward, dashing under the gate and out from the inside of the walls.

He glanced back at his squad, and caught sight of his newer recruits as they got their first view of the world beyond.

Their eyes widened collectively, expressions clearing of everything except astonishment.

He heard Isabel’s “Wow!” and grinned to himself with Levi’s understated “Not bad.”

Five minutes later they were grumbling again about being outside the walls and Eren tuned them out.

-

It was as the expedition came up on the edge of a forest that the first titan was sighted, a fifteen-meter class that stumbled out of the woods.  It was too close to avoid so the vanguard broke off to engage.  Eren’s eyes flitted over to his rookie trio to judge their reactions to their first titan sighting when he heard the call that a twenty meter one was heading towards the rear of the formation.

Jean’s squad attempted to lead it back into the woods to engage it amongst the trees but it refused to cooperate, running past the frustrated squad leader.

A deviant.

Its awkward gait was carrying it unerringly towards a supply cart.

“Jaeger’s squad!  Close the distance and defend that cart with your life!”

Eren grit his teeth.

“Don’t let the titan get near that supply cart!” he yelled to his squad.

Immediately, Sasha, Hannah, and Thomas broke off to circle around and shoot the hooks of their gear into the titan. As if spooked by their advance, the titan changed direction and started running ahead of his rookies.

Eren urged his horse to move towards them, a jolt of panic coursing through him as the titan neared his untested rookies.

To his surprise, as he got closer he could hear Levi giving directions with a level headedness typical of a seasoned veteran.

“I’ll distract the titan by grappling onto it.  You guys break its knees to kill its mobility, got it?”

“Easy peasy!” Isabel yelled determinedly.

Farlan’s “Yeah, totally,” was significantly less enthusiastic.

Eren watched as Levi hooked onto the small of the titan’s back, blades up over his head as his wires retracted to draw him close.  His boots tapped onto the titan and he drove his blades forward, stabbing deep for stability.

Then Farlan and Isabel moved, shooting between the titan’s legs, up and forward to slingshot back and slice open its thighs.  The titan began to tumble forward but Levi was already moving, using the gear to fling himself high into the air.  He twisted his body around in midair and shot himself back down when he had a clear view of the titan’s neck rending his blades through the nape in the same instant that he landed.

Eren wasn’t sure he had ever seen anything so beautiful.

The titan shuddered and fell completely and the trio regrouped on the ground, congratulating each other. 

Eren turned back to assess the condition of the rest of his squad when he caught sight of Erwin sitting on his horse and eyeing Levi like he had just been given everything he could ever hope to want.

It was unsettling.

Eren decided he didn’t like that look.

-

That evening they reached the old ruins that would shelter them for the night. 

Eren was subjected to Mikasa fussing over him in front of his squad, including his rookies, much to his embarrassment before she could be convinced that he remained unscathed for another day.  He shot a dirty look at Iasbel and Sasha who were trying vainly to disguise the fact that they were giggling at him and sat down in a sulk next to Levi.

Sasha excused herself to rummage through the rations and Hannah and Thomas were still outside tending to their horses.

His rookies seemed on edge, he supposed that was only natural considering it was their first time outside the walls.

“The way you took down that titan today was really something,” Eren grinned as he complimented them, eyes flicking over to meet stormy gray.  Isabel was smiling wide at the words, soaking up his praise like it was liquid gold.  Levi gave him a blank look but before he could get a reply Eren was being called away by Jean.

He stood up with an irritated huff, “I guess I’ll go see what horseface wants.”

He heard an amused huff from his short squad member and he flashed a half-smile before jogging over to the other squad leader.

Unsurprisingly, Jean had nothing of value to say to him.

“I hear your rookies had to bail you out, today.  Aren’t you embarrassed, relying on a few lowlife thugs to save your worthless ass?”  Jean goaded through a nasty sneer.  The quickest way to get under Eren’s skin was to insult his friends or squad.  Squad Leader Kirstein had a particular, well-practiced talent for it. 

“You got a problem with me, fine.  Leave my squad members out of it,” Eren snarled, grabbing the front of Jean’s shirt and yanking his smirking face close to growl at him, instantly incensed.

“Oh, you got a soft spot for a bunch of criminals?” Jean hissed.  Whether the horseface legitimately had a problem with Eren’s rookies or was just trying to rile him up, Eren didn’t really care.

To their credit, Eren and Jean were to the side of the room and their voices low so the rest of the corps couldn’t hear what they were saying.  Typically, no one intervened until it degraded to trading blows.

“That ‘ _bunch of criminals’_ can take a titan down better than your squad any day of the week.  After all, it was the same titan that got past you.”

“I didn’t see you stop it, either.  That prissy little thug is the one that kept it from destroying that cart.”

“What did you call him?” he snarled, snapping his other hand up to snatch at Jean’s collar.  The hold must have been uncomfortably tight on Jean’s neck, but the squad leader just leaned a little closer to leer at him, mouth twisting up repulsively at one corner. 

“Jaeger, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were sweet on him.”

Eren paused and blinked at Jean stupidly, grip loosening on the front of his shirt.

“What?”

Jean furrowed his brow, thrown off by the lack of an angry response.

He waited patiently for Eren to get back in the game.

“Sweet on…?” Eren repeated instead.  Jean sighed and ripped Eren’s hands away from his collar, entertainment for the night failing to deliver.

“You know Jaeger, sometimes you really disappoint me.”  The taller squad leader stalked away, disgusted at the other’s inability to let him properly vent the day’s stress.

Eren stared after him.

After a moment Eren made his way back over to the trio.  Jean’s attempts to get a rise out of him left him feeling off.  His eyes slid to Levi and he suddenly remembered something he had tucked away in his pack.  The bag was sitting a little off to the side of their group.  Eren strode over to crouch down next to his pack and searched through it until he found what he was looking for.  As he stared at the object in his hand, it occurred to him that maybe Jean was onto something.  With a sigh, he pushed himself up and walked over to his rookies.

“Here,” he said, holding the small hand broom out to Levi, “I figured you’d probably want to clean up the area you’re going to sleep in before you lie down.”

Levi blinked at him rapidly before lowering his gaze to the broom in Eren’s hand.  Hesitantly, he took it, pale fingers brushing against a tan palm for a heartbeat.

“…Thanks.” Gray eyes flickered back up to his, a little softer than before.

“You three get some rest, you’ll want to be at your best tomorrow,” Eren said, still looking at Levi.  Instead of following his own advice, he turned his stare to sweep over the rest of the room.  Spotting Armin, Eren quickly excused himself abruptly feeling awkward.  It was as if he were extra aware of his own body suddenly and he needed the comfort and familiarity of his childhood friend’s presence to re-center himself. 

He needed to catch his breath outside of Levi’s presence.

With a quick excuse, he walked away from his squad.

Behind him, he could hear Isabel’s excited murmuring and Farlan’s amused tones as they both harassed Levi.

-

Isabel was tittering, hands raised to hide her mouth as she gave Levi a wide-eyed look.  Even Farlan to his right had this sly, amused look on his face.  Levi felt an urge to duck his head and began to regret not doing so as he felt his face prickle with the rush of blood.  Unconsciously, his eyes flickered across the room to track their squad leader’s progress away from them. 

Eren was crazier about titans than most of the corps, which was saying something.  Still, Levi couldn’t really say he _disliked_ him.  The man had treated him exactly as he had treated every other member of his squad.  He had certainly never seemed to look down on any of them for being from the underground.  That sentiment hadn’t been shared by many of the other soldiers.

Levi’s gaze dropped down to the broom in his hand, and he idly flipped it over and over.  There was something warm coating his ribs, an uncomfortable feeling he didn’t want to acknowledge.

“Big Bro!” Isabel squeaked but couldn’t get any more out as her small fingers clutched at her face.  She was the one who had said Eren was good-looking and he could objectively admit that she wasn’t wrong.  He wondered if she was envious.  She didn’t seem like it, though.  More like she was excited about what was unfolding in front of her.  Her eyes quickly darted away from their group searching the room.  Levi knew immediately that she was looking for Sasha, probably to gossip.

He didn’t think Isabel had ever had another friend that was a girl before.  At least not one that could play the delinquent older sister.  Come to think of it, Isabel thought of him as an older brother, and he was a delinquent in the nicest possible way of wording it.  Isabel was terrible at choosing role models.

Tutting to his right brought him out of his thoughts.   

“Levi, Levi, Levi.  All these months I thought you were just patiently waiting until we could get to Erwin.  What were you two really doing in the woods all this time?  I’m starting to doubt you were just training with the 3DM gear.”

The glare he shot Farlan was absolutely foul.  It didn’t stop the blush on his face from deepening.  It had been obvious to his two friends that Levi had enjoyed the 3DM gear races more than he cared to admit.  Eren had a way of making it … _fun_.  And yes, they had also noticed that Levi would automatically partner up with Eren for cleaning duties, teasing him for it even after he insisted it was because Squad Leader Jaeger was the best at cleaning, which was absolutely true.  He was also tall, so he could reach all the high spots that Levi couldn’t.

Isabel gasped.  “Farlan said you could be lured with a broom!  He’s _wooing_ you!”

Levi chose to ignore the way the girl’s eyes were shining and the way his heart pounded a little at her words. 

He arched an eyebrow at Farlan, curious as to what the taller man saw fit to fill her head with.

“Don’t give me that look.  Your eyes turned to starry mush when he handed you that broom and it wasn’t just because it was cleaning supplies.”  Levi was about to protest but Isabel jumped in.

“You know, he acted like he was talking to all three of us, but he was really only looking at you just now.”

“And you weren’t exactly looking anywhere else, either.” Levi frowned at Farlan, who in recent months had taken great pleasure in teasing him about the squad leader’s uncanny ability to throw Levi out of sorts.

“We’re not blaming you, big bro.  It’s hard not to get lost in his eyes.  I mean, everyone knows green eyes are the prettiest,” Isabel said cheekily, her own emerald irises glinting in amusement. 

_You have really pretty eyes._

Eren’s words from weeks ago came back to him.

“He told me I have pretty eyes,” Levi blurted.  He wasn’t entirely sure why he mentioned it now, only that once the memory resurfaced, it started roiling around in his brain intensely.

Farlan and Isabel paused in their teasing and stared at him.

Suddenly Farlan ducked his head, hiding his face.  A tremor rolled through his shoulders.  Then they heard a snort and the floodgates snapped open, unhindered laughter erupting.

Out of his peripheral, Levi saw Isabel’s jaw hanging low as she blinked at him.

Inexplicably, he felt heat burn mortifyingly at his cheeks.

“Oh man…” Farlan gasped, “to think Squad Leader Jaeger has… has… how in the world did you charm a guy like that?”

Levi understood ‘a guy like that’ to refer to Eren’s apparent one-track mind for titan-killing.  To be fair, from what he had seen most of the Scouting Legion was like that.  His gaze was drawn across the room to the broad shoulders of their squad leader.  If Eren was charmed, he hadn’t a clue what he had done to have that effect.  In his entire life, Levi couldn’t recall a single time he had ever charmed _anyone_.  If anything, he typically had the opposite effect on people. 

Then again, he had on several occasions heard Squad Leader Kirstein call Eren a ‘suicidal bastard’.  Maybe Jaeger embraced that nickname in all aspects of his life.  Including growing soft to a notorious underground street thug. 

It definitely wasn’t because Levi himself was enchanting.  The problem clearly lied with Eren and his apparent mental instability that drove him to challenge man-eating monsters and find known criminals suitable for courting.  The broom felt heavy in his hands.

Farlan’s voice was suddenly very serious, “What I need to know is, can you follow through on our plan?  We’re here for those documents.  Or have you two changed your minds?”

-

Armin was not as helpful as Eren had hoped.  While his friend was certainly adept at picking up on his moods, he was not a mind reader and unfortunately Eren did not yet have the words to give form to his problem.  Even if he had, Armin was hardly the romantic.  Neither was Eren up until now.  Not that he especially considered himself one at the moment.

He just kind of felt a… thing.  A warm, kind of painful thing.  It hurt and felt pleasant at the same time, especially earlier when he had seen Levi swoop down on the titan earlier that day like a perfect titan-killing machine. 

It became clear after only a few moments of brooding next to a curious Armin that Eren had gone to the wrong person to sort his head out.  Any other problem, Armin would be the one.  This issue though, it required the insight of someone who was well-versed in listening to their heart.

“Sorry, have you seen Mikasa?” he asked, feeling inexplicably foolish for coming over to Armin to silently stew over his thoughts and then abruptly change his mind.

“I thought I saw her go out into the hall earlier.  Are you all right?” he asked, concerned.

“Yeah, I think I just… need her opinion on something.”

“Okay…  I’m here too, if there’s anything you want to talk about,” Armin assured.  Bless him and his romantically barren soul.  There was no way he would be helpful in this. 

He nodded at Armin with an almost-smile and went in search of Mikasa.

When Eren swung into the corridor, he found Levi and Erwin speaking quietly.

He felt the frown spread across his face before he thought to question it and stalked irately towards the two men.  He didn’t really care for whatever interest it was Erwin held for his squad member and liked it even less when the blond giant had him privately engaged.  Even more so after seeing the look Erwin had on his face earlier that day when they had taken down that titan.

He watched as two sets of eyes snapped over to him.

Before he could properly interrupt, Isabel swung out into the corridor.

“Big bro! Sorry!  That took longer than I thought!  I’m done changing so you can come back now!”

Levi pushed away from the wall, gaze hooking onto his squad leader for only a fraction of a breath and then he was walking off with Isabel without another word.  Eren strode up to Erwin’s shoulder and waited for the two disappear down the corridor before addressing the man at his side.

“Is there a particular interest you have in my squad member?”

Erwin’s eyes cut over to him and he was silent a moment, assessing.

“Just enquiring to their adjustment,” Erwin answered unconcernedly.  

Eren doubted that very much.  Erwin Smith did not take a casual interest in people.  His skepticism must have shown on his face.

“You seem protective of them.”

“Of course, they’re members of my squad.”

“Did you ever wonder why they were placed on your squad?”  When Eren didn’t answer, Erwin continued, “Because I knew you wouldn’t treat them any differently from any other recruits, despite their past.”

“What do I care about their past as long as they can fight titans?”

Erwin placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Exactly.”

Eren gave him an incredulous look.

“Ah, I’m just saying that we have a similar line of thought.  It’s good that they have a squad leader like you.”

“Well as a good squad leader, I’m going to ask that you refrain from antagonizing my men,” Eren snapped.

“I’m afraid it’s too late for that,” Erwin said and walked away, leaving Eren to stand there, feeling like he had an itch in his bones that he couldn’t scratch.

-

Mikasa sought him out when he eventually returned to the main room where most of the soldiers were camped.  Armin must have let her know he had been looking for her.

“Hange introduced herself to your rookies.”

Eren slapped a hand to his face, “How’d they take that?”

“Better than most.”

“Levi didn’t threaten her, did he?”

“The midget?  No, I think the tall one kept him under control.”

Eren huffed a laugh, but his humor quickly left him.  Between his conversations with Jean and Erwin, if they could be called that, he felt restless.

“What’s with you?” Mikasa asked, picking up on his mood as quickly as Armin had.  She eyed him seriously.

“I’m not sure,” Eren said and he found his gaze magnetized to the short dark haired man across the room sitting with Farlan and Isabel.  “but I think I might… like him.”

Mikasa raised an eyebrow before letting out a sigh, “Is that all?”

Eren snapped his face around to look at her, stunned.

“It’s not _that_ surprising,” she said, looking towards Levi, “he’s got a natural talent for killing titans.  I don’t know if there’s a faster way to catch your interest.” Eren knew he was gaping, but couldn’t quite seem to stop himself from doing so. “If it helps, he’s not as hostile to you as he is to everyone else,” Mikasa finished with a shrug.

“I, uh…” he didn’t even know how to respond to Mikasa’s honest assessment.

“You should tell him how you feel, but do it when I’m around in case he attacks you for it.”

She took a swig from her canteen before placing a hand on his upper back and giving him her version of a gentle push towards the corner his squad was huddled in.

Eren turned his head to look back at her, but she was waving him away. 

He got about two steps towards his rookies before he had the oddest sensation of his courage fleeing him for perhaps the first time in his life.  He abruptly changed his route to head out of the room.

Mikasa’s amused huff of a laugh behind him just made him walk faster.

-

_“Hey, Big Bro.  I don’t really get all that stuff about ‘humanity taking back the world’ or whatever.  These guys are actually ready to die for that sort of thing… but you’re wondering if it’s really okay for them to die for that reason, aren’t you?”_

Isabel had asked a simple question after he had essentially chased away the oddball that had introduced herself as Hange with his frosty demeanor.  The woman’s friendliness had unsettled him.  The attention of the other soldiers on them as she had asked if he had any tips for using the 3DM gear and fighting had felt like sandpaper.

To be surrounded for so many months by people who believed in a cause greater than themselves, who were committed to better the standing of humanity and to feel it even more acutely as they ventured outside the walls, it prickled at him.  Even Farlan, usually so unaffected by the other soldiers had asked if he couldn’t have given them some sort of trick to help.  Levi felt like even more of an outsider; their trio didn’t belong in soldier’s uniforms when the real ones were so dedicated to their mission.  They were ready to die for something Levi wasn’t sure he understood. 

He had watched the soldiers prepare for bed, slowly dousing the torches one by one as the settled down to sleep.  He had seen some die today and he would undoubtedly see more die tomorrow.  For what purpose?  He failed to see much progress, but it didn’t seem to deter them.

Levi had said that he didn’t want to be responsible for anyone’s life except for Farlan’s and Isabel’s.  Yet those corps members had been looking at them like they were something other than thugs ever since they had taken down that titan.  It felt foreign.

Farlan and Isabel had felt it, too. 

He sat in the dark slowly flipping the hand broom in his palms and gradually gaining a warped compassion for the lunatics that made up the corps. 

A memory filtered through his brain from a couple weeks ago.  Eren had been explaining to their squad how Erwin’s formation was supposed to work.  He had pointed out the position they would hold and informed them that they would be running spare horses. 

Eren then went on to describe how poor public opinion was of the legion due to the fact that their previous expeditions had failed to do much more than produce piles of corpses.  Levi clearly recalled the bright spark of determination that had flashed in those crystal eyes as their squad leader went on to passionately tell them how this formation could change all of that.  His voice had risen with fire as he promised they would make the mission a success and turn the tides for humanity.

And Isabel had leapt into a salute, eagerly replying with a “Yes, sir!” as she was swept along with Eren’s enthusiasm.  Their squad leader had returned her salute with one of his own, and Levi had looked on as the girl shared a strange moment of solidarity with Jaeger and felt his own will bend just slightly. 

“Given how well planned their formation is, we’d be sure to stand out if we were to break away.  And that’s already taking into consideration the risk of it falling apart on its own somehow.  We should just give up on snatching the documents while we’re out beyond the walls,” Farlan murmured just loud enough for him and Isabel to hear.  “The chances of us not being noticed by anybody, from the rear guard we’ve been placed in all the way up to where Erwin is in the advance guard, are pretty much slim to none.”

“Guess three people _would_ stand out…” Levi found himself agreeing.

“Besides, we oughta concentrate on getting home in one piece.  ‘Cause really… we seriously came all this way…”

“I actually agree with that,” Isabel piped up, “Those documents are important, obviously, but… I’d hate to get in their way.”  The last part was laced with that same heavy feeling Levi had been holding behind his sternum for weeks now.

Farlan responded incredulously to her statement even though Levi knew the blond felt it, too.  There had increasingly been the sense that it was wrong for them to be among the soldiers of the corps.  The uniforms scratched at their skin more with each day.  The winged logo on their backs was starting to weigh them down.

“I think I kinda get why they journey outside,” Isabel said after a moment.  “Going beyond the walls is a lot like how we used to dream of leaving the underground someday.”

Oh. 

Something was clicking into place.

“So, it’s like going out beyond the walls to kill titans?” Levi found himself asking.  Funny how Isabel was the one to piece it all together.

“Yeah,” she said, smiling up at the dark ceiling before rolling over to look at him.  “Hey, Big Bro.  I dunno if this is weird or anything, but, uh… today, after I was done talking with everyone… I realized I really want ‘em to go outside the walls and fight more.  Lots and lots more, even more than they already do.”

Levi felt her eyes go from sharply piercing him to her gaze soften sleepily as her eyelids grew heavy.

As he listened to her soft breathing, his chest was aching in a way he was unfamiliar with.

-

Eren had gone outside and stared up at the sky until the lights inside the ruined castle began to go out.  He had no experience when it came to matters of the heart, and he wasn’t sure why Levi of all people was the one to put him into such a state of confusion.  Admittedly, he had been impressed by the man’s skill from the first time he had seen him.  He found Levi’s high standards for cleanliness endearing, even a little cute at times.  The man’s personality probably left a lot to be desired, but he hardly found it off-putting.  They had fun during training, racing towards mock titans competitively, or at least Eren assumed Levi had fun, too.  It was even kind of adorable how short he was and he _did_ have those pretty eyes, inky black hair, and smooth alabaster skin. 

So maybe he was a little bit smitten.

If that were the case, he’d just do what he always did when there was something he wanted.  Work tirelessly and diligently until he achieved it.

When he came back in, he picked his way across sleeping bodies by use of the moonlight that streamed in through windows overhead.

“Before you guys start talking about offering up your hearts and shit… we’d better rethink our plans to grab those documents, huh?” Farlan’s quiet voice filtered over to Eren’s ear in the dark, sounding unusually somber.

He froze instantly.

Documents?

He frowned.  If they were after documents that were in possession on the Survey Corps, then it would explain why they never tried to escape after their forced conscription.

Who in the corps would have documents that a group of… Erwin.

Eren knew better than to get involved with any of Erwin’s schemes, but a part of him also knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from stepping in if his squad was going to get hurt. 

No matter their reasons for joining.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I really thought I could wrap this up in four chapters. I was wrong. One more.

The sun was rising into a blue sky dotted with white puffs of clouds hanging lazily overhead.

In contrast, the opposite direction hosted a bank of dark clouds guarding the distant horizon.  The wind was picking up and blowing their way as they packed up from their night at the castle and prepared to continue the expedition. 

“Say Armin, if it rains, how is that going to affect Erwin’s formation?” Eren asked as he cinched the saddle on his horse.

“Depends on how bad the rain is,” Armin said, but that undercurrent of concern had Eren’s spine pricking.  If Armin thought it was something worth being worried over, then it was something worth being worried over. 

“Say it rains pretty fucking bad.”

“Then we better keep a tight formation.”

Eren frowned and glanced back towards his team.  Sasha was sharing a hunk of bread with Isabel and Eren would bet that it hadn’t been part of her issued rations.  Their hushed giggles carried over to him and it only made his suspicions stronger.  He was fairly certain if they were to inventory their supply carts, they’d come up short.

Next to them, Hannah was helping Thomas tighten the straps of his gear in the back.  He thought back to training when he often asked Levi to do the same for him.  It was hardly abnormal, asking another soldier to tug a strap one couldn’t reach themselves and no one ever thought twice about it.  Eren had always assumed the trilling of his nerves as Levi’s sure fingers had grazed along his back and arms to pull a strap snug was for their impending races. 

Now the memories were tinged with a shade of want.  Helplessly, his gaze slid over to find slate-gray eyes already trained on him, but just as quickly, the man looked away.  Eren didn’t.

It was a moment before he realized the pounding in his ears was his own heartbeat.

He wasn’t yet sure how best to reconcile his attraction towards the shorter man, his vow to protect his squad, and his duty to the corps, but if experience had taught him anything it was that he never made decisions by thinking them through.  His reactions guided by his pure gut feeling usually pointed him in the direction he wanted to be.

Eren patted his horse’s flank and walked over to the soldiers under his command.  Their attention collectively turned to him as he approached.  Including Levi, who although refused to look at him, had still minutely inclined his body towards the squad leader.

“If the weather turns and it gets bad, I want you all to close the distances between each other and group up.  Understood?”

He received a round of nods and flitted his eyes over just in time to see gray slip away again before he returned to his horse to resume checking her over before they got underway.

-

The expedition that morning started out well enough.  The dark clouds piling on the horizon seemed to be staying put.  The advance and command squads started leading the larger legion out slowly.  The scouts began in a snug group until all the squads had gotten up to speed and the order to assume the long distance scouting formation was given.

Gradually, the legion broke further apart and took on the general shape of an arrowhead, the outer squads unfolding like the wings on their uniforms to spread wide. 

For awhile, it was almost mundane as if they were out for a brisk tour of the countryside rather than monster-infested lands.  The titans that were spotted were avoided with the use of signal flares.  From what Eren could tell, there were no engagements, which meant there was no loss of life.  He had to hand it to Erwin, no matter what else the man may be, he was a brilliant strategist. 

Eren could appreciate that while the man never seemed to give as much consideration to individual life, his priorities were the preservation of humanity as a whole.  They needed someone who could be callous when the enemy held just as little regard.  Whether their adversaries were found in a noble’s castle or beyond the walls.

Around him, he could hear his newer squad members discussing the merits of the formation.  They seemed impressed themselves, but they really had no previous expeditions to compare it to.  They hadn’t seen what a mess it became when they had tried to engage every titan they saw, how quickly their ranks were torn apart before they had covered any meaningful distance. 

It had taught Eren to cherish the people he had left, even if one of them was growing more devious by the day and another smothered him in maternal worry. 

Eren frowned.  Ultimately, he and Erwin had the same goal: eradication of the titans.  Eren got caught up in the details, though.  He prized the lives of his friends and his squad as much as he did campaign victories.  Having them return to headquarters alive and unmaimed at the end of an expedition was its own victory, no less hard won.

His gaze swept over the back of his team, all riding ahead of him.  He was extremely fortunate that he had rarely suffered losses of soldiers below him.  He personally preferred to take up the rear of his squad and have Sasha in the lead.  She had the best eyes and could spot trouble before the rest of them.  He liked to be able to keep a visual on the squad itself and if anything were to come up behind them before they caught sight of it, he had the quickest reaction time.  He kept Thomas and Hannah to either side and they effectively formed a diamond around their newbies. 

It wasn’t that the rookies weren’t capable, it was that they were inexperienced when it came to titans. 

Although, that hadn’t seemed to matter much the day before.  Farlan and Isabel’s movements were synchronized and well-timed, but Levi’s- his were on another level.  He had moved so fluidly the way Eren had seen him do countless times before in practice but to see even a fraction of that tightly coiled power unleash on the real thing… even the memory still sent chills down his spine.

Even now Eren was having trouble taking his eyes off of Levi, vision tracking the way his dark hair was being tousled in the breeze that had kicked up.  The overcast sky only managed to highlight the fairness of his skin as Eren’s stare brushed up the back of his neck. 

He sighed to himself, admiring his unhindered view of strong shoulders when he felt the first raindrop hit his nose.  He blinked, torn out of his thoughts and looked up at the storm clouds that were quickly rolling in.  It wasn’t just overcast, those clouds had taken over the sky, heavy and deeply shadowed.

As soon as he thought that, they cracked open with a shout of thunder, instantly dumping rain so thick it was as if someone had upended a bucket over their heads. 

Then the fog rose.

-

“Hey!  What the hell are we gonna’ do?  We totally lost sight of everyone!” Isabel called out, looking over at Levi and Farlan worriedly.

“All we can do is keep moving.  I’m sure we haven’t gotten too far from the rest of the squad,” Farlan answered grimly.  Eren’s instruction to keep the squad close together wasn’t much use if they couldn’t find them.

The redhead faced forward, eyes dropping down to stare miserably at her hands clutching the reins.  Their situation wasn’t good.  With the downpour, it eliminated their ability to communicate by flares.  Levi could barely make out Farlan and Isabel to either side of him in the fog.

As the squad leader, Eren should have noise rounds, but they hadn’t heard any go off.  The rain was thunderous in its noise, but they should still be able to hear that, at least.  The trio was quiet as the seriousness of their situation sunk in.  At any moment a titan could appear and they’d have almost no forewarning. 

“This isn’t looking too good, guys.  If Erwin gets eaten up by the titans, there’s no way we can get our hands on those documents,” Farlan said, wry grin on his face.

A soft ‘pop’ of sound threaded through the downpour.

“I heard a noise round!  Is it from our squad?” Isabel said, perking up excitedly as she twisted around in her saddle to try and see anything at all.

“Looks like it’s not too far off.  We can probably catch up with everyone, but-” Farlan cut himself off, noticing the look on his companion’s face, “Levi?”

The man in question was thinking furiously.  They had an opportunity in this storm.  He could ride towards Erwin’s location, try and find him through the soup of fog.  There was a lot of risk though.

_If all three of us go… the rest of the squad will be in serious trouble._  

He thought of the four people they would be leaving behind.  Thomas and Hannah were pleasant enough.  Sasha, who had been so nice to Isabel, befriending the redhead without a care for where she had come from.  Isabel adored the older girl.  Eren, their idiot squad leader who allowed Levi to smuggle whatever cleaning supplies he wanted.  Who raced him through the forest as if there was nothing he’d rather be doing than playing childish games with an underground criminal.  The suicidal bastard with the intense eyes that left Levi a little breathless whenever they swept over him and the smile that lit his nerves on fire.

Levi felt his face heat up.  Now was not the time to be mooning over the asshole who was the reason he got caught in the first place.  Or ever.

They needed to grab those documents and _go_.  They needed to get out of the Scouting Legion before anyone got any _more_ attached.

If they were going to make their move, this was their chance.  Their best chance.

Three was too many, though.

_If I go alone, there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to find them again._

Not until the rain cleared up.  They’d likely pass each other without ever knowing.  Could he get to Erwin and make it back without incident?  Should they wait for a safer opportunity?

_Which is the right choice?  I have to choose._

He closed his eyes.  Unbidden, the memory of Isabel saluting Eren, swept up in his speech making the mission a success came to mind.  Their squad leader returning the salute, looking at Isabel with something like pride.  Looking at them all like they meant something.

He thought of Isabel and Farlan in their worn home in the underground, dreaming of citizenship on the surface.  All their plans to live in the capital and Isabel’s mischievous grin as she told them how they’d rob all those rich nobles blind.

He thought of Erwin, standing over him, forcing them to kneel in filth, having his face shoved down to grind in sewer water.  Erwin giving them no choice but to submit to the Scouting Legion.  He thought of the stench of dirty water in his nose, dripping down into his eyes, that awful feeling of helplessness as the scout had threatened Farlan and Isabel, forcing his hand. 

Levi’s gaze sharpened into something deadly and the rage started to boil low in his chest. 

“I’m going alone,” he ground out, voice guttural, “You two catch up to Eren.”  If they met up with the rest of the squad, they should all be fine.

“Hey…” Farlan said, looking at him in concern.  His friend was incredibly conscious of how dangerous it was to be out in titan lands in this weather, but Levi was sure of his own strength.

“I’ll get my hands on those documents.  Besides, the one who’s going to kill him is _me_.  I won’t let a damn titan get to him first.”  Levi felt his jaw clench.  He had a favor to repay Erwin Smith for that day in the underground.

“Big Bro!  I’m gonna’ go with you, too!”

Her insistence felt like a punch.  She was always trying to follow him places she shouldn’t.  Unwillingly, he softened a little.

“Isabel.  Think about it.  Me alone, or Sasha and the others?  Who do you think is more likely to become titan food?”  It was a low blow, capitalizing on the young girl’s fondness for their glutton of a squad mate.  He wasn’t really allowing her to choose.

The look Isabel gave him was proof enough of that.  She was glaring, almost ready to cry.

“With all of you together, your chances of survival are much higher.”

“Levi!  Use your head!” Farlan cut in.  He looked as thrilled with the plan as Isabel did.  “The fog will clear up if we just wait it out a while!”  

“And?” Levi shot back, challenging, “You think the titans are just gonna sit back and relax until it does?”

“It doesn’t matter, just listen to me!” Farlan implored.  “We have no idea where the titans might come from in this situation like this!  It’s too dangerous to be out there on your own!” Any other time, Levi might be touched be his concern, amused even, but right now all he had was the smell of sewer water in his nostrils and the remembrance of sour weakness in his chest.

“I don’t need to hear all this shit from you!  I can do it alone!  Just trust me!”

They glowered at each other, rain soaking deeper through their clothes, refusing to cool their tempers.  Levi was rarely frustrated with the other man, but he couldn’t express how badly he needed to do this.  Reasonable or not, he had no intention of listening to Farlan’s pleas.  Levi had sworn months ago to himself that he was going to kill Erwin Smith and he was tired of waiting.

“Is that an order, Levi?” Farlan finally asked, something hurt and bitter in his voice.  It felt like a slap to the face.

“An order…?  What are you saying?  I just…” he faltered slightly at the glare he was receiving and started again, “You guys are… I want to-” They were like family to him, _never_ subordinates.  He didn’t want to order them around.  He wanted a better life for them.  It must have shown on his face, gotten through to Farlan even if he had completely failed to get his feelings out into words, because the blond man’s expression relaxed and he let out a short laugh.

“All right, then.  Just don’t get yourself killed!”

“Ya better come back to us, big bro.  No matter what!”

It was as much a blessing as anything.  He took one last look at the both of them and rode away.

-

Eren swore, having lost sight of his entire squad.  This was no good.  He urged his horse a little faster.  Everyone had been ahead of him, but it was impossible to tell how much they scattered away from each other.  He grit his teeth, peering through the fog and rain, only able to see a few meters around him.

Even if the titans weren’t a factor, traveling in this weather was still dangerous.

He was having no luck.  His flares were useless even if they hadn’t managed to get soaked, there was no way anyone would be able to see one if he fired it.  He had his noise round, though.  Hadn’t expected that he’d ever use it, but he was glad to have it now.

Unhooking the flare gun from its holster he fumbled his fingers across the rounds strapped to his belt until he found the one he was looking for.  He flipped open the dust cover on the gun and slid the round into the chamber, thumbing back on the hammer. He raised the gun into the air and fired it once.

The crack of sound echoed past the sheets of rain and faded into the atmosphere. 

He waited.  A moment later he heard the beat of hooves moving heading towards him.  Relief tingled in his breast as Sasha emerged from the wall of fog.  When no one else followed, he frowned.

“Where are Levi and the others?” he called out.  She should have met them if their squad had kept to its diamond shape.

She shook her head and bit her lip, drawing up next to him as the rode closely together. 

“I don’t know where they went.  They should have run into Thomas or Hannah unless we got too spread out.  I haven’t seen them either.”

They rode in grim silence for a few more minutes until they heard more hoof beats.

Sasha saw them first, Eren following the line of her sight, chest warming as he took in first Isabel, then Farlan as they materialized out of the gloom.

“Magnolia!  Church!  Are you two all right?”

There were quick nods of assent and Eren peered past them looking for the third member of their group.  “Where’s Levi?” he asked.

“Ah… we lost him in the fog,” Farlan said. 

Eren felt his heart freeze.  His gut was telling him something was wrong.

-

Levi brought his horse to a sudden halt.  On the ground in front of him were the decimated remains of a squad.  One whole, crushed body.  Two partials.  Five trampled horses.

A muddle of gigantic footprints pressed into the mud.

“This is…” It was the squad situated between his and Erwin’s.  He ignored the carnage, there wasn’t anything to be done about the dead now. His focus turned to the tracks.  _There must have been four or five of them._   He eyed the trail leading away.  _Those footprints are heading back towards…_

Fear. 

Cold and heavy, it pressed on him, suffocating.

“Shit!” he cursed, the feeling spread throughout his limbs.  “ _Shit!!_ ”

He turned his horse around, heels kicking desperately into its sides, urging it into a ferocious gallop.  He had to _hurry_.  There were too many.  Farlan and Isabel, Eren…  Shit.  Shit shit _shit!_   They might have a chance if he got there in time, if Farlan and Isabel found Eren and the rest of their squad. 

They might still be alive.

His chest felt stuck, like he couldn’t move it to get air in his lungs.  He gasped uselessly.

Without Farlan and Isabel… he didn’t know what he’d do.  Then there were the lives of the rest of his squad.  He had avoided admitting it to himself, but he was fond of them.  If the titans reached them, if he didn’t make it in time, their deaths would be on him. 

There was a sharp pain behind his sternum when he thought of everyone he had left behind, desperate.

His mind settled on his squad leader.  Their best chance.

Eren would try and take on the whole group of titans, he’d do his damndest to keep the rest of his squad safe and he would be _killed_.  Levi gasped again, still not getting enough air.

He still had that stupid hand broom in his pack, the one he couldn’t seem to put down last night.  He didn’t know why it was that broom of all things to pop into his head when he had bigger concerns.  Eren had looked almost bashful when he gave it to Levi.  Or this morning when Eren had briefly caught Levi’s gaze, only for an instant before it was too much and Levi had to look away and ignore the way his pulse quickened.

He had been denying it, he didn’t even know how long, but he liked Eren.  He liked him a lot more than he should for someone who was planning to murder one of the squad leader’s comrades and desert the corps.

Eren almost made him want to stay.  Isabel and Farlan had grown soft to the idea, too, even if none of them had spoken it aloud.  They were probably each afraid of the way the others would react.

His throat constricted and Levi struggled to swallow past a lump of cauterized emotion.  He couldn’t remember ever feeling _this_ desperate, _this_ powerless.

His horse was galloping as fast as it could, but it wasn’t fast enough.  His fingernails were biting into his palms as he gripped the reins, blinking past rain that smelled too clean and fresh suddenly.

He suddenly found himself not caring about documents or a life above ground in the capital.  He only wanted what he already had these past few months.

He wanted to grab Farlan and Isabel, pull them close, feel their warmth, their living breaths.  He wanted Sasha to offer him stolen rations, grinning cheekily.  He wanted Thomas and Hannah to offer him morning greetings, Hannah sliding a cup of watery tea in front him while Thomas asked if he was going to finish his hash browns.

He also wanted just a little more.

He wanted to push Eren to the ground and kiss him stupid.  Wanted to kiss him until the scout forgot what a titan even was.  Wanted to kiss him until they were both short of breath and dizzy.

Something stung at his eyes, it could have been the wind, it might not have been.

Suddenly a riderless horse burst through the fog, panicked and whinnying as it shot by him.  He turned to watch as it moved past.  There was only one reason a horse would be loose out here.

The titans had stumbled across another squad. 

The only squad it could have been was Squad Jaeger.  They were the nearest.  Levi felt something dark tug on his heart, pulling it thin.

He anxiously blinked rain out of his eyes, straining to see through the cloud of white fog clinging to the ground.  He had to be close. 

He already knew he didn’t make it before the titans, that he didn’t make it in time.  He just prayed there was _someone_ still alive, _anyone_.

Finally, forms started to darken as he rode and he craned his neck out further as if it somehow helped him to see better.

It the distance, five giant shapes loomed.  They were no longer moving.  Something had stopped them, grabbed their attention.

Levi’s heart snapped.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. Real life got very busy between work, traveling, school, buying a house unexpectedly, and some minor but still annoying health issues.
> 
> I also spent too long deliberating whether or not to split this chapter up, which I ultimately decided to do. There will be one more chapter after this which is 94% written and 76% edited (I don't actually know, I'm just guessing at numbers).

Eren heard them coming long before he saw them, great thuds punctuating the downpour.  Then he felt the vibrations as they impacted the ground, flowed up through the hooves of his horse, and clattered in his teeth.  That was when he dropped his hands from the reins to the handles of his gear, fingertips brushing close to the triggers. 

He glanced towards Sasha, met her eyes, and she nodded, urging her horse forward to take point.  He maneuvered until he was behind her, but not so close they could both be taken out by the surprise arch of a gigantic hand or stride of a clumsy gait.

The rain made his grip slippery, but it was too late to do anything about it at this point.  He felt like an idiot for not having considered that earlier.

A lesson learned for next time, provided he lived.

He pushed that thought to the back of his mind and closed his eyes, listening to the footsteps.  They were almost on top of them.  He heard a thin whipping sound, water being swept aside, and he snapped the handles of his gear up. 

He snapped open his eyes, aimed towards a dark shape that got more defined as it moved towards him, and squeezed the triggers.  He was lurched out of the saddle and into the air, wind rushing past his face.

Behind him, he heard a shout that was quickly speeding towards him.  Then to his left, he caught a glimpse of Sasha as she sailed into the fog.  He could tell there were more titans by the sound of their approach, out of step and uneven gaits, but beyond that he had no clue.

They couldn’t form a proper strategy without knowing what they were up against, so they had to rely on instinct and experience.

He barely saw the hand snatch at him before he spun his blade through its knuckles.  Then he was zipping towards the pectoral he had snagged.  He saw the other arm come up and he released the hook on his gear, trajectory arcing as his upward momentum ceased but his horizontal movement still carrying him.  There was a brief second where he almost felt as if he were still flying before his stomach dropped out as he began to fall back down to the ground.

It wasn’t a breath later that he saw the back of the shoulder blade that was still working to keep that giant arm aloft and he aimed his wires again.  This time he curved out to the side on centripetal force as he was pulled up.  He retracted his wires once more as he was aligned with the spine, taking the base of the skull as his next target. 

He heard a scream, but too many years of fruitless expeditions had him conditioned to ignoring it, already judging it to be too far outside his range to do anything about it.

Still, he expended a little more gas to get to the nape quicker.  A thick slice from his blades and it was gone.

As the titan fell, he turned towards the direction he had heard the cry come from.  He couldn’t see anything at first but as a stiff breeze wove through, it took a patch of fog with it and he saw his next target: a ten meter whose fisted hand had legs kicking out of one end.

He didn’t hesitate.

-

Levi took a breath deeply into his lungs, forcing them to work.  The torrent of rain was starting to abate and the visibility was improving.  As he rode closer, he could see a shape zipping around one of the titans.  By the time he sucked in another gulp of air, he could make out Sasha, making quick, precise moves to disable her target while attempting to avoid a second one.

She was good, but even through the thinning fog, he could see she was struggling.  As long as she could hold out for a few more moments, he’d be able to make it.

He watched as she darted down a spine, keeping to areas hard to reach for her opponent, slicing when convenient.  The second titan swung a hand out towards her faster than she had clearly been expecting.  She stumbled.  Levi grit his teeth, nearly close enough. 

Isabel would be devastated if anything happened to her.

A quick recovery and a pivot of hips had Sasha slipping through giant fingers before Levi’s eyes, dropping straight down with only a single line from her gear to catch her.  She waited the split second until she was clear to release the second hook in a shot that sank into the shoulder of the first titan.  She tried to retract he other wire, but the second titan suddenly clenched its hand into a fist, snagging it. 

She was already traveling upwards when the line grew unexpectedly taut.  Her body was jerked in midair, but her reaction was quick.  She expended more gas, pulling the second titan’s arm up until she had a suitable vantage point.  Then, in a move Levi suspected she learned from their squad leader, she retracted the line from the titan’s shoulder and flipped her body to face the second titan.

As she began to fall, she aimed her free hook at the hip of the titan that still had a grip on her other line.  A soon as the metal bit the flesh, she opened the gas wide on her gear, shooting forward as fast as Levi himself would ever dare.  The line wrapped around the titan’s fingers snapped tight, cutting deep into its skin.  When her descent slowed from the resistance of the wire caught in flesh, she fully opened the valve, and jerked forward once, then twice as the wire cut through bone. 

Fingers flew into the air.

Sasha quickly closed the valve, but couldn’t slow her trajectory.  Her newly freed wire was tangled and couldn’t be used to alter her course.  She shut her eyes tight, bracing for impact with a hip.

She was prepared for it to hurt.  Badly.  If she was lucky, she’d only have the wind knocked out of her.

It was with some surprise when the impact came from the side, and not frontally.  She cracked an eye open when the devastating crash felt more like an arm wrapped around her waist as she was violently spun away from the second titan.

Startled, she turned her head to meet Levi’s eyes.

“You’re as bad as Eren with that gear, aren’t you?”

“Take that back!  I only get crazy if I’m about to die.”

Levi felt a smirk pull at his mouth.  They touched the ground a moment later and he gingerly let go of her. 

“Fix that wire while I take care of these two.”

He shot his hooks up at the fingerless titan ignoring whatever retort or assent she shouted after him.  His blades were out before his feet even left the ground.  The titan was distracted, staring at its hand as if wondering why it was bleeding and pouring out steam.  He wouldn’t be surprised if it started looking for its missing phalanges next.

A whip of his blades in its nape as he sailed past ensured it would never find those fingers.

The first titan had turned around whether to see what all the commotion was or because it instinctually knew where to find human meals.  Levi was already aiming for it when its gaze locked on him.

Too late.

Its eyes could only follow as he zipped past its face, wires retracting and releasing in tandem as he arced around to slice out its neck.

When he reached the ground again, Sasha was already recoiling her tangle-free wire.

“That was fast,” he noted.

“I could say the same to you.”

-

Eren was sinking his blades into a wrist when he finally saw that there was no body attached to those legs. 

The hand dropped like a stone, uncurling as it impacted the ground, the lower half of a former scout bouncing free.

He got the brief impression of long legs as he dodged the other arm that swung at him by hooking into the side of a giant ribcage. 

Thomas?  Hannah?  Or was it someone from another squad that the titan had been carrying around for who knows why?

He didn’t have time to investigate further, already having to pull his wires back as the titan reacted more quickly than average.  It’s mobility and motor skills seemed to be better than most, swinging back at him with the stub of its severed arm.

He aimed for the upper triceps, flipping upside down to cut off the arm just above the elbow as his feet hit against skin.  A blow to his shoulder knocked him loose as a fingertip from the other arm collided with him. 

He allowed himself to enter a freefall, hazarding that it wouldn’t have the time to stoop down and grab him from midair.

A second whirring of gear alerted him to the presence of another scout somewhere close by. 

 

 

The loud yelling told him it was Isabel.

Eren couldn’t see where she was, but it didn’t sound like she was too close.  Likely she zeroed in on another target.  He flicked the triggers on his handles and shot them at a massive thigh as he fell past.  The abrupt jerk and change in direction had his stomach pinging up and down unhappily.  It was not the smooth change he normally pulled off.

The titan twitched as he regained his footing on it leg.  Apparently it was more sensitive to stimulus as well.  He took a moment to wipe the sweat away from his forehead with his sleeve and gain his bearings.  The titan was already twisting around to search for him. 

“If you want a closer look, I’ll be happy to give you one!” he shouted at it, waiting until it turned its head to give him a clear path.  He curled his lips back from his teeth and fired his hooks high into its cheek.  He shot up along the stump of its arm, steaming as it regenerated, and cut into the muscle hinging its jaw into place, using his momentum to run his feet up its mandible as the line shortened.  He was close enough to shove a blade into its eye, so he did, maybe a bit spitefully. 

He was unprepared for the roar it let out, but he adapted quickly, releasing one hook and letting the other line out in a controlled drop, swinging his arm wide to shoot the free hook into the base of its skull.  Sort of.  His angle wasn’t great, but it was enough to pull him over into position for the killing blow.

He released the other hook from it cheek, letting it almost lazily retract as he made the cut, silencing the roar.

He didn’t have the luxury of basking in victory, already looking around him for Isabel.

“Farlan!” The cry cut through the thinning fog like a beacon.  At the moment he was extremely thankful that she was so loud, for probably the first time.  Usually she was standing right next to him when she started shouting and he was sure he had lost part of his hearing since she joined his squad.

“Hurry!” It was unmistakably Farlan’s voice, but further away.

Eren caught a glimpse of a hulking shape and aimed his gear towards it, lurching forward when his hooks lodged in deep.  As he sped forward, he could make out Isabel’s form, shooting up high and then flipping down for a killing strike… and missing.  She disappeared behind the back of the titan as he raced towards its front.   

He had a hook through the bridge of its nose and one in the round of its shoulder and when he got close enough to touch the soles of his boots on the upwards slope towards its neck, he wasted no time releasing the hold and running straight over the edge to drop down the length of a massive back. 

He was just in time to see Isabel’s toe slip and her face crash against the titan he was currently falling past.  She rolled sideways until the length of her wire jerked her to a dazed stop and she hung there. 

He saw her at the same time a twelve-meter, particularly idiotic-looking titan that had been stooped over behind the first did.  It gave a wide-open mouthed grin and turned towards her, starting a face-first charge.

Eren snapped his feet together, straightening himself into a thin line, reducing his air resistance, elbows locked in at his waist.  He flipped the handles on his gear firing behind him, hearing the whir of whipping wire then depressing the buttons for the braking mechanisms to slow the unspooling of his lines to stop within reach of Isabel.

He reached out, grabbed an ankle, and flung her away hard enough that he suspected he dislocated his shoulder with the move.  He looked back in time to stare into the yawn of a mouth ringed with teeth half his height come slamming towards him.

-

Levi’s horse strained beneath the double weight of his and Sasha’s bodies.  They could hear the whir of gear and growing shouts now.

The breeze was tossing around the remnants of fog.  Then a thin white sheet of it was blown aside like a curtain opening to a stage of carnage.

Levi’s eyes widened, horrified as they cleared the last of the mist to see Isabel hanging from a titan and Eren drop down towards her.  He watched as the second titan ran towards them as Eren launched Isabel out of the way, and the titan smashed into the back of the other, Eren caught between.

Sasha stiffened behind him with a gasp.

His heart thumped, deep and painfully, as if collapsing against itself.  Whatever breath his lungs had held had fled them, and their walls were pressed together, sticking shut so he couldn’t gasp in anymore air. 

He felt the flood wave of the gigantic bodies crash into the ground shaking it beneath him and he was running, not even sure when he had dismounted his horse.  Isabel screamed as she was dragged down with them, yanked down by her gear.  Levi couldn’t see where she landed.

Movement snagged his eye, and he saw Farlan on the ground, ripping his blades out, but instead of launching his wires out, he crouched there, looking at his gear in disbelief.

Something was wrong with it.

A massive hand swept out towards the grounded blond and he slashed at it ineffectually.  Before Levi’s stricken sight, Farlan was scooped up, gripped in a fist that he couldn’t escape.  The look of resignation that crossed his friend’s face as he caught sight of Levi and raised a solemn hand in farewell pierced through Levi’s sternum, cracking at the bone and shattering it.

He was close enough now and he fired his wires out, shooting forward as fast as the gear would allow, blades clenched tight enough that the hatched pattern on the handles imprinted on his palms.

‘ _Please let me make it in time!_ ’ Levi thought desperately, throwing it out to the universe, a prayer given to anything that could answer.

He raced the raising of the giant arm, trying to outrun the creeping tendrils of despair seeping in at the edges of his mind. 

He wasn’t going to make it.  An avalanche of emotion swallowed him and sharp, bitter regret crested on top as he slipped beneath the roiling slide.

He almost missed the whistle of blades slicing through the air, slicing through an arm, attached to a spinning windmill of a scout.  The forearm of the titan slid off to drop to the ground a moment before it could shove Farlan into its mouth, the blur of a green cloak in its wake.

Levi switched his direction, re-aiming to reach Farlan, wincing as the mountain of flesh impacted the ground, the hand opening and fingers unfurling.  Levi landed beside his wide-eyed friend who was gasping for the breath that had been knocked out of him and pulled him to his feet.  Farlan stumbled unsteadily into him, the blond’s clear blue eyes already stuck to the whirl of the scout that had saved his life.  Levi turned in time to see the titan fall backwards and the scout land in front of him.

“Where’s Eren?” Mikasa asked breathlessly before her eyes flicked upwards behind them and her mouth pressed shut thinly.

Levi looked behind him, then turned fully, blades ready as he stood before the three titans that were advancing towards them. 

One had a smoking jaw, its face stitching itself back together.

“That’s the one that got Isabel and Eren,” Farlan said, voice tight as he glared at his faulty gear.

“No…” Mikasa’s voice was soft and devastated. 

Levi felt the blood drain out of his face.  His heart clenched painfully.  That stupid fucking titan, it took the girl that was a sister to… the man that could have been _something_ to him. 

The world tilted underneath him and when it righted itself, he saw red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to have the next chapter up within a few days.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this, despite the break between updates. It's finally done! I think I'm the one who's probably the most excited by that.

_“That’s the one that got Isabel and Eren,” Farlan said, voice tight as he glared at his faulty gear._

_“No…” Mikasa’s voice was soft and devastated._

_Levi felt the blood drain out of his face.  His heart clenched painfully.  That stupid fucking titan, it took the girl that was a sister to… the man that could have been_ _something_ _to him._

Next to him, Mikasa shifted as she waited for the titans to draw closer.  When he glanced at her, he saw her eyes pulled wide, tears filling them.  Her mouth was a firm line, but the tremor in her jaw said more than words could.

He turned his attention back to the advancing threat... any second now they’d be in range.  Closer… closer…

Without warning, Mikasa launched herself into the air, wires dug deep into the titan that had taken from her.  “Give back Eren!” she roared, her blades rending the flesh off wherever they could reach. 

He felt the rage build up again, spiking with each shriek from Mikasa and he sent his wires into the knees of the titan Mikasa was attacking, sling-shotting between and removing the back half of an ankle as he did so.  The titan stumbled forward, leg useless beneath it.  Mikasa was already up at its shoulders, flares of red splashing off as she neared its nape, slicing at anything in reach. 

Levi turned towards the next titan and he swallowed hard when he saw a dangling wire attached to scraps of gear hanging from its back.  _Isabel’s gear_.  He didn’t have the luxury to indulge in sorrow at the moment.  He and Farlan would have to wait until later to try and patch up the wounds her death left behind.

He aimed high on the titan’s back, spiraling up its back as soon as he was latched on, a blankness settling over his mind and his body moving automatically.  The nape was gone before he realized he had cut it out. 

He was already headed for the third when he saw Mikasa launching herself towards it as well.  His gear hooked in and he sped towards it, only to be yanked sideways as the titan abruptly pitched forward.  Levi quickly retracted a wire and shot it out lower into its side, swinging down and aiming his other wire lower as he plotted his orbit around the giant body, slowing his descent with the braking mechanism and softening his eventual landing.  Mikasa must have done the same on the other side as she crossed above him around the back of the titan.

When it finally landed, dead, they stumbled away from its corpse and looked to see who had taken it out.

Eren was crouched on its shoulder blade, one hand gripping a wire lodged into the disintegrating flesh, the other arm wrapped around the girl thrown over his shoulder, a smoking blade gripped tightly in her hand.

Gingerly, he set Isabel down then held up his palm to her.  She giggled delightedly as she slapped her own against his, then turned towards an openly staring Levi and Mikasa.

“Big Bro!  Did you see that?  Huh?  I cut it down!”  She brandished her weapon up as though they needed further proof of the blood disintegrating off the metal.

The pair hopped down off the steaming body, Eren tentatively pressing fingers to his shoulder.  Isabel had a dark red mark on the side of her cheekbone that was Levi was sure would bruise later.

“Eren…” Mikasa breathed, then she was running past and fisting her hands into the cloak of the other squad leader.  Levi remained where he was, eyes glued on the dark-haired man and the red-headed girl, not daring to blink.

“Are you hurt?  How do you feel?” the tinge of hysteria in Mikasa’s voice was quickly washed away by relief.

“Disgusting.  I’m covered in titan spit and I feel disgusting.  Where’s the rest of my squad?”

“It’s already evaporated,” Isabel piped up, looking for any residual saliva on her squad leader.

“That doesn’t help as much as you think it would.”

“Titan _spit_?” Mikasa reared back, hysteria edging back over her.  The way her hands twitched in their grip of Eren’s shirt was telling of how thin her control of her emotions currently was.

“I had to cut myself out of one’s mouth.  Shoved a blade between its teeth, right into its gums so it couldn’t close its jaw all the way.  I can’t believe how bad its breath stank.  Nearly threw up,” Eren said, looking thoroughly revolted as he recounted the event.  “I swear the smell is still in my nostrils.”

“He launched out of its cheek and saved me!  My gear got kinked when I slipped and he cut me out.” 

“…How did you both get on top of that titan?” Mikasa asked, as if she was hesitant to actually hear the answer.  She was starting to look a little ill. 

“I hooked into its thigh when I grabbed Isabel.  It didn’t notice us there.  _Where_ is the _rest_ of my _squad_?”

Hoofs beating the ground signaled the arrival of more scouts coming from behind Levi, but he was caught up in the explanation in front of him.  Too numbed to do anything but watch, eyes firmly on Isabel and his squad leader.

“So… you just ‘swung up’ with her over your shoulder?”

Eren turned and glanced at Isabel as if she could explain why Mikasa sounded so incredulous. The girl shrugged.

“Yes…?”

“Why did it take you so long?” Farlan asked, stepping beside Mikasa and looking like he really just needed to sit down for a minute.  Levi hadn’t even noticed him walk over.

“Have you ever tried to operate this gear with someone thrown over your shoulder?” Eren asked, his eyes briefly passing over Levi’s before focusing on Farlan, as if he were checking names off a mental list.  Levi felt his heart lurch up into his throat and lodge there.  Emotions he wasn’t equipped to detangle and process were thrumming through his body. 

“No, that’s suicidal.  How could you possibly find your balance?”

“You can’t, as we found out.”

Mikasa’s face looked pinched.

“Eren!  Do you even realize how reckless you are?  You’re _lucky_ I found you in time!”

“Mikasa, I _don’t_ need you babysitting me.”

“How is any of this,” she asked, sweeping her arm out to encompass the steaming carcasses, “you not needing me to babysit you?”

Behind him, Levi heard the new arrivals come close enough to hear the conversation. 

“What are you doing over here, anyway?” Eren asked Mikasa.

“We ran into Thomas.  He got knocked from his horse by a titan.  We were close by and saw the flare he shot.  He’s probably got a broken leg.  My squad was splinting it when I came to save you.”

Eren’s eyes snapped to the people behind Levi, then dismissively started to scan around them.  “Has anyone seen Sasha or Hannah?”

“Over here!” a hand waved from behind a smoking corpse. 

“You all right, Sasha?”

“A little banged up.  I can only take on half a titan horde right now.”

A quick twitch caught Eren’s mouth before he refocused.

“I’ll take up your slack.  Eyes out for Hannah!”

“Heh, you can leave it to me!” Isabel said, face still flushed from her adventure with the squad leader.  She seemed far too exuberant for someone who had narrowly escaped death more times in one hour than most people do in a lifetime. 

Mikasa’s face, by contrast, was stone.  Levi suspected that if she were at all expressive, she would be developing an eye twitch.  It wasn’t the first time he had seen Eren brush off her very valid concerns in regards to his safety.

“Where is your squad, anyway?” Eren asked, walking past Mikasa towards a nearby horse, one who Levi couldn’t currently match to its rider.  He mounted the horse a little less fluidly than he normally would, hand flying to his shoulder and teeth gritted when he attempted to pull himself up.

“Regrouping the corps using the green flares to signal the scattered squads.  There was no point endangering them all over something I could handle myself.”

Eren nodded absently, as he swung the horse around to presumably begin his search for his missing squad member.

“Excellent work, Ackerman,” said Erwin behind them to Mikasa.  Levi spun on his heel to see squad leader Smith intensely surveying the carnage in front of him, Mike a little behind him was looking far more surprised.  Erwin looked inordinately pleased by what he saw, as if an experiment had yielded results beyond expectation.

Levi had nearly lost his friends and Smith looked _pleased_.

Anger, white hot and explosive erupted beneath his skin.  The residual terror lacing his veins ignited, the dread and that unidentified emotion that hung heavily in his chest from the moment he chose to chase after Erwin in the storm all roiled together.  He launched himself at the man, unseating him and propelling them over the startled horse.  Levi was on his feet in an instant, blades drawn as Erwin pulled himself to his knees.

Mike was already dismounted, but Levi’s guttural snarl stopped him, “Back off.”

Levi snapped a blade to Erwin’s neck.  “Erwin,” he began lowly, every dark feeling he ever had tinged in his voice.  “I’m going to fucking kill you.  That’s the only reason I’m still here.”

Dead silence marked the air around them.  No one dared move.

Erwin, quickly realizing the volatility of the man before him appeared to shelve his previous thoughts from when he had arrived.  He slowly reached inside his cloak and withdrew an envelope.

“These are the documents concerning Nicholas Lovoff.”

Levi felt his eyes widen, those raging emotions suddenly coalescing to sink through him like a stone through water.  “You bastard… you knew?”

Erwin took a deep breath and allowed the papers inside to slide out of the envelope, before dropping it all on the ground.

Lev’s eyes fell to the documents, a shock of confusion bolting through him when he saw they were blank pages.  He looked back to Erwin, trying to figure it out.  “Just what the hell are you trying to do?”  He punctuated the question by increasing the pressure of his blade against the taller man’s neck.

“It was a bluff.”  The words dropped heavily into Levi’s gut.  “I knew that Lovoff was embezzling funds… using what was left from our suspended expeditions over the past several years.  I wanted definitive proof, enough to convict him, so I had spread false information about him.  Lovoff is a vigilant man, so I figured he would try to do something in order to confirm the existence of the documents first.  Sure enough, he approached the three of you with the request.”

Levi tightened his fingers on the handle of his blade.  Remembering Farlan’s excitement when he had burst into their home, announcing that he had found out the name of their mystery client: Lovoff. 

His face felt frozen, he didn’t think he could move a muscle if he tried.  Everything they had gone through the past few months… they were just the movements of pawns.

“Making a move would surely leave a trace behind, so it didn’t take long for me to follow the trail and get my hands on the evidence.  The more he acted on his own, the better I was able to gather the evidence I needed.”

“If you knew all that,” Levi asked thickly, “Why did you make us join your survey corps?”

“For one, you fighting skills are truly outstanding.  The other reason… is because I wanted to use you, the ones Lovoff himself made a deal with, in order to throw him off.  But none of it matters anymore.  The real documents are now in possession of supreme commander Zackley.”

“…My friends… almost _died_ for nothing.  You just dragged us into your worthless schemes…” Levi could feel that black anger crawl up over his shoulders, stretching up his neck, permeating his voice as it crept higher, “ _but now I’m gonna drag you down, too._ ”

Levi pulled his arm towards Erwin’s neck, the blade scraping against skin.

Mike’s running footsteps rushed towards them, but Erwin’s hand snapped up, stopping Levi’s weapon from taking his head.

“Worthless schemes?” Erwin’s voice grew heated “Who was it… who almost killed my subordinates, almost killed your friends?  Was it me?  Or was it you?  Even if you had gone together with them to ambush me, do you really think that they would’ve survived unharmed?”

The tension drained from Levi’s arm and the blade slipped down.  Would Farlan and Isabel have been fine if they went as a group?  They could very likely have run into titans and then to still have to take down Erwin afterwards along with anyone who tried to stop them…  He couldn’t say he would have been any better at protecting them in that situation, either.

“You’re right… my arrogance… my own shitty fucking pride…”

“No, you’re wrong!  _It’s the titans!_ ” Erwin shouted. 

Whatever the squad leader was going to say next was cut off as Eren galloped back up, leading another horse by the reins.  Across the other horse’s back, Hannah sat slouched heavily in the saddle, barely conscious.  Her right arm hung along the horse, swathed in bandages and missing from the elbow down.

Levi felt a cold punch to his gut.

He stared at the white gauze while his squad leader dismounted. 

As Eren stalked up, a mixture of anger and concern pulling his eyebrows low and tightening the corners of his mouth, Levi finally realized what that heavy, suffocating feeling stuck to the inside of his sternum was. 

Guilt.

Despite himself, he felt guilty for letting Eren get attached, for giving the soldiers of their squad hope with his abilities, for not having any intentions of pledging his strength to the corps.

He felt guilty for Hannah, her career as a soldier over.

He had never meant that.  Hell, he had been forced into joining.  They by no means should have expected any sort of loyalty from him and he certainly hadn’t been obligated to give it.

Eren was in front of him now, breathing a little erratic.  He shot a hand out and grabbed the front of Levi’s uniform, jerking him closer.  Those green eyes were incandescent.

“Idiot!”

Levi felt his own anger flare up and he reiterated the thought in his mind that he had promised nothing to these people.  Not even Eren.

“What were you thinking leaving your team behind?  Farlan, Isabel, Thomas, and Hannah almost got killed because what?  You had to go take a shot at Erwin?  Outside the walls is the _worst_ possible place for that!  How many other lives did you put at risk for some stupid documents?  There are plenty of places inside the walls to get the jump on Erwin!  Make your move _there_!”

Levi felt his mouth fall open somewhere in the middle of that.

Even Erwin was gaping at Eren like he had just told them he transformed into a titan on his days off.  Over Eren’s shoulder Levi could see that Mikasa looked pained and Mike had the same expression as Erwin, but his attention was mostly focused on the blazing green irises in front of him. 

He wasn’t sure which part of Eren’s tirade to focus on.  That yes, he had made a mistake by choosing to head off on his own and it would have ended disastrously if not for the man who currently had a white-knuckled grip on his collar or his overprotective sister.  That Eren had been aware that they had been targeting Erwin.  That he knew about the documents.  Or bizarrely, that his disapproval stemmed more from the setting Levi had chosen in which to try and kill Erwin rather than _actually trying to kill Erwin_.

Levi found he couldn’t respond.  He dropped his gaze, shame creeping up over his shoulder blades and settling on him like a cloak.  Eren was right.  His whole, vaguely treasonous speech was right. 

Levi had let his pride and desire for revenge on Erwin for shoving his face into that sewer water and making him submit to his plans override everything else.  Erwin could give whatever broad speeches about the survival of mankind he wanted, but it was Eren’s righteous anger over abandoning the squad that hit Levi harder.

The grip on his shirt loosened.

“It looks like you get it,” Eren said quietly, and Levi doubted anyone watching them could hear.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” he murmured back.

“What do you mean?”

“You.  That whole rant.  Lecturing me about leaving behind my comrades and then criticizing my _method_ for trying to kill yours?  Hypocrite.”

“It’s not like I condone you trying to kill Erwin but I get why you’d want to.  I’d be lying if I said he’s never given anyone a reason.”

Levi blinked at Eren.  Every time his idiot squad leader opened his mouth he was left speechless. 

It was a moment of swallowing thickly before he found his voice again.

“If you knew what was going on, why did you bother saving them?  We’re only here to get in the way of the Survey Corps.”

“They’re my squad members.  Of course I’m going to save them.  Look, I don’t know what’s so special about those documents you’re after, but forget about them.  You can do so much for the corps.  I’ve never seen anyone take down titans the way you do.”

Levi glanced away from Eren, gaze unerringly landing on Hannah’s wrapped elbow.

“I’m not going to be your hero.”

Levi didn’t want to be that for Eren Jaeger.  He didn’t want to be someone that the squad leader would pin his hopes on.  He couldn’t be that for anyone in the Survey Corps, most of all, Eren Jaeger. 

“I never asked you to be.  You’d make a terrible hero.”

Levi’s eyes shot back up to Eren’s.

“I mean really, what kind of hero rides off to let someone else do all the saving?  If anything, _I_ should be _your_ hero.”  The tiny little smirk Eren gave him managed to be absolutely dazzling.  He was aware suddenly of how close they were standing, of how many pairs of eyes were on them.

Hastily, he stepped back, but he knew his face was already flushing.

He had to look away, but the only other place he could look were those fucking bandages.  Bandages that were rising up until they were next to Hannah’s face, tired and weak.  “It’s okay,” she mouthed at him, smiling softly. 

How could it be? 

She shook her head at him, smiling a little wider and despite himself, he felt his shoulders relax.

“Levi,” Eren said, voice taking on an entirely serious tone and snatching Levi’s attention again.  The squad leader straightened, shoulders back and levelled his stare.  A cool itch pricked up Levi’s spine, as though he knew what Eren was going to say was significant.

“Levi,” he repeated taking a step closer, “I _really_ want to fight titans with you.” 

“I… what?”  Levi was sure that was something that went without saying.  Behind his squad leader, Levi could see Mikasa cover her face with her palm before looking skyward as if trying to find strength.  He looked back to Eren whose expression was an attempt at gentle.  There was something important he was missing. 

Levi quickly glanced back at Erwin who was still kneeling cautiously on the ground, but otherwise looked as confused as Levi felt.  For someone who could seem to predict everyone’s motivations and movements, the blond squad leader was apparently at a loss when it came to Eren Jaeger.

“I said, I want to fight titans with you.”

“Yes, I heard, I just don’t…” Wait.  Eren Jaeger.  Interests include titan hunting, titan hunting, and titan hunting.  Favorite topic of conversation was the best way to fight titans, free time spent devising creative new ways to kill titans, and leisure time activities centered around reading Survey Corps literature on titan extermination.

He thought he knew what this was.

Levi let out a sigh and glanced towards Isabel and Farlan and really looked at them.  Being on the surface suited them.  They were tired and beat up, but they didn’t look worn down like they had in the underground.  There was no more fighting to keep what was theirs all the time, no sleeping with one eye open, and more brooms than Levi had ever seen in one place with the Survey Corps.  There was also something in their eyes that looked a little too much like pride after they had taken down that first titan.  The feeling of respect they had earned rather than forced.   

Maybe this wasn’t that bad of a life.

He looked back to Eren again.

“Okay,” he said lowly.

The squad leader’s face lit up, a too-charming grin beginning to spread.

“ _Finally_ ,” Mikasa muttered from behind them.

“Can I assume that you intend to stay with the Survey Corps?” Erwin asked, having risen to his feet, but keeping a respectful distance.

“Yeah,” he grunted.

Isabel gave a sharp cheer.

“Then may I suggest that we remount our horses now before our group attracts anymore titans?”

-

Levi stepped into the infirmary, warily eyeing the figure sleeping on the bed at the far end of the room.  There weren’t as many injuries as Levi would have suspected after the expedition.  It was bad luck that the right wing of the formation was hit harder.

He silently crossed the room until he was standing next to the bed and let out a sigh.  Quietly, he set the vase he was holding on the nightstand. 

When his wrist was grabbed he nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Thank you,” Hannah murmured as she blinked away sleep.

“Don’t say that.”

“Why?  Because you blame yourself for my arm?”

Levi didn’t respond.

“We were separated before you went rogue.  I was on the outside of the formation.  The titans would have crossed my path first even if you had stayed with us.  I would have lost my arm either way.  Who knows, if you hadn’t run off, maybe I would have died trying to save your ass.”

“I…”

“Levi, shut up and stop feeling guilty.  The only way this would be your fault is if you had personally cut off my arm.  My life as a soldier isn’t over.  They’re sending me to train new recruits in the military as soon as I get out of this bed.  So, I’m going to need you to keep an eye on Eren for me because he’s a suicidal bastard.  It takes a legion to look after him,” she said, looking him in the eyes.

“I’ll keep him out of trouble,” he found himself saying.

“Not possible.  Just try and keep him alive.”

“Fine.  I can do that.”

-

It was the morning after that life resumed to their new normal.  The squad leaders had been wrapped up in meetings and writing reports to discuss the expedition while the rest of the soldiers inventoried their supplies and horses, tended to the injured, and mended equipment.

When Eren arrived at their door for training that morning, Isabel in tow, Levi had the strangest feeling of displacement.  They quietly made their way to the edge of the woods with their gear where Sasha and Thomas were already waiting when Farlan nudged Levi’s side and nodded towards Eren.  Whatever he was being urged to do, Levi wasn’t following.

“Isabel and I learned we need to work on our riding while we were out on the expedition,” Farlan announced.

“What are you talking about?  I’m a great rider!” Isabel argued before Farlan smacked her on the shoulder.

“Oh, yeah,” Sasha chimed in, apparently picking up on Farlan’s intentions, “I have a few tricks I wanted to show you on horseback!”

“What?  Really?” Isabel asked.

“Sure.  Sasha is one of the best riders in the corps,” Thomas said, ambling towards the stables.

Eren watched the majority of his squad dismiss themselves unexpectedly and turned to his remaining troop with a puzzled look on his face.

“What’s with them?” the squad leader asked.

“Not a clue,” Levi muttered, sliding his gear over his shoulders.  He did actually have his suspicions, but rolling around in a puddle of mud would be preferable to voicing what he thought was going on.

He froze when Eren stepped behind him to tighten the straps that were hard to reach like he had so many times before.  Levi felt his heart speed up as fingers swept along his shoulders and down his back.

“How’s that?” Eren asked, his breath tickling at Levi’s neck.

He grunted in response.  Words were beyond him at that moment.

“Are you ready?” the squad leader asked as he stepped back to his side, hands lowering to hover over the handles of his gear.  Levi forcibly sucked in air and released it, because his body decided it was a good time to stop breathing without prompting.  It had only been a few unavoidable brushes from Eren’s hands on him.  There was no reason to be worked up, the squad leader had been clinical as he tightened Levi’s gear for him, perfectly businesslike.  Yet here he was, short of breath and fighting the heat on his face. 

“Ready,” he lied.

“Three… two… one… go!”

Eren was off with a shot and for once, Levi was lagging behind.  He found himself dodging trees with partial focus, eyes locked firmly on Eren’s back.  He watched as his squad leader sunk the hooks of his gear into trees, retracting the wires at high speed until the split second where they couldn’t get any tighter and then pulling the secondary trigger to allow the lines to go slack with perfect timing.  He flew forward on his momentum, weightless from the sling shot maneuver before releasing the hooks, retracting his wires, and repeating it.

Levi had seen other members of the survey corps do it countless times, a few with more grace even, but when Eren did it, Levi couldn’t take his eyes away.  There was something wild and powerful in his movements.  Maybe it was the way Eren could pull off maneuvers considered too dangerous by most of the corps relying on bravado and reflexes.  After all, Levi didn’t know anyone else who would use their gear to slam into their target so they could fall out a window together. 

Sometimes, Levi was still amazed they hadn’t flown head first into a building.

Levi idly swung around a thicker copse of trees towards the first target only to find Eren already there, sitting on the padded neck apparently waiting for him.

Gingerly, he landed next to the squad leader.

“Your mind isn’t here today.”

Levi shrugged as Eren glanced up at him.  Whatever the squad leader was thinking, Levi couldn’t guess.

“All right, then,” Eren said before shoving himself off the wooden cutout to drop the ten meters down to the ground below.  A quick whir and double thud of hooks slowed the senior corps member’s descent.

Levi stood there for a moment, not sure if he was intended to follow or not.  He looked over to edge to see that Eren was waiting on the ground looking back up at him.  Inexplicably, Levi felt his heart start to pound and he quickly dropped down as well.

On the ground, Levi found himself facing Eren, acutely aware that they were alone.

Without warning and without thinking it through, he strode up to the squad leader.  Eren’s eyes went wide as Levi grabbed his collar and yanked him down and kissed him hard.  Mouth to mouth, one white-knuckled hand on Eren’s shirt, and one subtly shaking hand gripping the squad leader’s belt to yank him, stumbling, closer.  Levi was hyper-aware of Eren's hands hovering to either side of him as though the squad leader wasn't sure what he should be doing with them.  He could hear the softest gasp of surprise from the mouth his was pressed against  He could taste the slightest sweetness from the honey Eren had put in his morning tea.  He could feel the roughness of Eren's lips beneath his own.  He could smell the soap Eren had used to wash that morning.

It was only a second or two before Levi pulled away lips tingling and sneering up at his squad leader like Jaeger had personally offended him.  He could see the swollen lips parted slightly, the green eyes wide and startled, and the pinpricks of pink on Eren cheeks.

Eren blinked at him as his mind tried to catch up.

“That’s what you meant when you said you wanted to fight titans with me, right?  That you liked me.”

“Yeah, um… I was told I could have worded it better,” Eren muttered, and for once he was the one who was blushing hard.

Levi didn’t have to ask to know Mikasa was the one who told him.  There was a beat before the squad leader spoke again.

“Why are you glaring at me?”

Levi hesitated.  He hadn’t realized that was the expression on his face. 

“Because I’m bad at this.”

Eren’s face cracked into a quick smile and Levi felt his knees go a little weak.

“So am I,” Eren said and lowered his head again, meeting Levi’s lips.  It wasn’t a particularly extraordinary kiss, but it felt like nothing Levi had ever experienced when the squad leader’s hands slid beneath the straps of his gear and pulled him close.

Levi raised his own hands, sliding one into Eren’s hair the other wrapping around the strap that came over Eren’s shoulder, tugging him as close as he could while they were still in full gear.  He supposed that as long as he had Eren Jaeger in his arms, then the Survey Corps was probably where he was supposed to be.

He guessed that meant he should hold tight and never let go.

-

When they finally walked out of the woods, Farlan was waiting.

“What happened?  Did your gear beak down?  It almost lunch time,” he said, trying and failing to keep the ridiculous smirk off his face.

“Just trying some new techniques with the gear,” Eren said.

“Must have been some pretty impressive moves.”

“Shut up Farlan,” Levi said warningly despite the blush spreading across his face.

 

The End.

* * *

*This was an alternate ending, because I apparently wrote more than one for reasons unknown to me:

 

“Just to be clear,” Levi said as Eren rounded the corner towards his quarters, nearly giving the taller man heart palpitations.

“Why are you just hanging out in a dark hallway?” Eren gasped palm on his chest.

“Privacy.  I want to be sure of something.”

“What’s that?”

“You were confessing feelings for me out there?” Levi asked, voice sounding clipped despite his nerves agitating beneath his skin.  He really hoped he hadn’t misinterpreted or this would be not only extremely embarrassing, but also incredibly disappointing.

“I thought I was pretty clear about it.”  One look at him proved that yes, he genuinely thought that.

How was it _clear_? 

“You weren’t.”

“Oh…  Then you should kiss me.  Is that better?” the squad leader said, as his eyes pinned themselves to Levi’s mouth.  How Eren could say things so brazenly without flushing was a mystery.

“Is that an order, Jaeger?”

“Yes, but it’s not as if you’d follow an order you didn’t want to,” he said, roguish smirk sneaking onto his face.

Levi felt to corner of his mouth tug up in response.  He could try and flirt more, but he was more than certain they had both reached the extent of their abilities in that arena.

Instead, he pressed his mouth onto Eren’s firmly, parting his lips just enough to gently bite at his squad leader’s lower lip.  Every beat of his heart was in his ears.  Arms were around him.  Nerves all thourghout his body were lighting up.  He pulled away after a moment.

“We’re in a hallway,” he said, more breathless then he had realized.

“Not really the best place,” Eren admitted.

“I could have told you that,” said Mikasa from behind them.  They jumped away from each other like they were on fire.

“Mikasa!  How long have you been there?”

“The entire time, I think.  For the record, telling someone you want to fight titans with them is not a normal way to tell them you like them.”  As she walked closer, Levi could see there was the barest hint of an amused smile on her face.  “You only have twenty minutes before Ackerman has to be back in his bunk for lights out.  I would suggest you finish saying ‘good night’ inside your quarters if you’re not done.”  She caught Levi’s eye as she brushed past before moving to her own room.  He supposed he should consider that was her way of giving her blessing.

“I uh, it’s kind of late, huh?  Maybe this weekend though, when there’s no curfew… you might want to come here for …tea.”

“Tea?”

“Well, maybe more than just tea.”

Levi snorted.  “We’ll start with tea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for reading! I don't see too many role-reversal fics in this fandom, which is probably what prompted this. Also, I admit I pulled a deus ex Mikasa for no other reason than that I wanted her to be present for Eren's confession. That made the whole scene for me.

**Author's Note:**

> I have approximately 75% of this fic written. Mostly I'm posting it so that I will be more motivated to finish it and move on to other projects as well as continuing that Interns fic that I should have updated a week ago.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


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